In the News (Time): “Being a good provider isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, says a new study. Guys who are required to earn the lion’s share of the family income are less happy and less healthy than guys who aren’t. And the higher the percentage of the bacon a guy has to bring home, the bigger hit his body and brain take.

“The new study… looked at 15 years of data on married people between the ages of 18 and 32 from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth. ‘The data definitely seems to indicate that, in general, as men take responsibility for greater and greater shares of the couple’s pooled income, they experience declines in their psychological well-being and health,’ says the lead author Christin Munsch, an assistant professor of sociology at University of Connecticut.

“The data suggests that men are at their lowest when they are their families’ only breadwinner. That’s when happiness scores fall to 5% lower and health scores 3.5% lower, on average, than when both partners pitch in equally.

“For women, carrying a heavier financial load has the opposite effect. As they earn more their psychological wellbeing rises. And when they earn less, they feel worse. Unlike the men, women’s health didn’t seem to be affected by their earning status within the family.”

My Comment: This situation causes men to feel pressure because man in modern society is not the same provider of the past who went hunting with a spear. Today there are such conditions of psychological stress that man didn’t have originally. Therefore, we can sympathize with modern men.

Women, on the contrary, feel more confident in stressful situations. By nature, she is more suited to psychologically withstand pressure. Men are suited to carry out physical activities, and women are suited to carry inner pressures. Women also get stronger through regular daily problems and men do not.

The current situation of humanity, society and the state is unnatural. The man who in principle is ready to work and provide a livelihood deals with huge sources of stress and is under many pressures that are very difficult cope with. The female mind is more suited to deal with such pressures. Women’s intuition and psychology is more prone to multiple, reusable, and multilateral influences and the men are not. Sorry men.

Question: Do we come closer to our roots by the measure of our correction?

Answer: Of course. We will remove all external completely unnecessary tensions and pressures, and a man will be able attain what he needs to—the material, and then the spiritual food.

We will all work reasonable hours to ensure our optimal corporeal fulfillment: food, clothes, etc. All the other contentment, first men will achieve from their spiritual work. If the spiritual work is realized in normal conditions, then it only strengthens.

Question: There are no tensions in it?

Answer: There is a lot of stress, but the stress is of a completely different order. If they come from efforts of constantly strengthening the connection between us and through this connection drawing the Upper Light, then they are positive tensions. But if the stress comes from the turmoil of daily life, from the tremendous amount of problems at work, with the authorities, with police, etc., then of course it is very exhausting to the male body.

Question: Will our standard of living decline as a result of spiritual stress?

Answer: To the contrary.
[192539]
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 8/21/16

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Question: We women try to make our husbands’ and children’s lives easier. We worry about their daily lives and organize entertaining activities for their leisure and the holidays. Very often, we even take their chores upon ourselves. Should we perhaps try to do the opposite? Should we try to complicate our husbands’ lives so that they will suffer more, so they awaken faster to advance along the spiritual path?

Answer: A woman should not annoy her husband. She should help him do everything on a reciprocal basis to provide each other with the most easy and comfortable existence. There is no need to create any special difficulties.

The hardships a person overcomes along his spiritual path are spiritual and internal. If a woman grumbles and bangs on pots and pans, it will not help her husband advance spiritually, and she will only harm herself this way.

She should support and help her husband, create the right conditions, and gently push him along the spiritual way, and nothing more.
[195870]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: Will the Light operate on the husband of a woman who studies the wisdom of Kabbalah regularly, who tells her husband about everything she reads, and shares her Kabbalistic experiences with him? And, will he eventually become a Kabbalist? If a husband accepts the fact that she studies Kabbalah, but he is busy working and providing for the family, will her studying affect his material success?

Answer: There is no difference between a man and a woman in spiritual work, and everything depends only on a person’s spiritual actions.

The man can provide for the family, and she can engage in the spiritual part.

As for the second part of the question, I can say that her studies will not interfere with her husband’s material success if she doesn’t disturb him. She mustn’t upset him by trying to teach him the basics of the wisdom of Kabbalah with every move he makes.

She must let him live his life quietly.
[195340]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: Can I say that the female part in me is revealed if I enjoy for my own sake, and that the male part in me is revealed if I enjoy for the sake of the Creator or for other people? Can we say that we are constantly changing our gender?

Answer: The male and female inclinations in us are manifested according to the intention you wish to receive, whether it is for my own sake or for the sake of others.

But we don’t constantly change our gender. I hope that we will learn to do so and really be in the attribute of love and bestowal all of the time: to bestow in order to receive and receive in order to bestow. We must constantly play with that and move along the right and left lines. When egoism is added in the spiritual world, you become female, and when you overcome the egoism and gradually ascend, you become a male.
[195347]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: How can I help my husband become spiritual?

Answer: First and foremost, he needs to study in a group. It makes no difference if we are talking about a man or a woman in the physical body. For example, if, on the screen in front of me, I see a group in which there is one man sitting in the back and all of the rest are women, I actually relate to them as a group of men because I perceive them according to their longing.

I see that these people are very strong. They are trying and longing to develop spiritually. Indeed, their form is female, but this is only a mask and a unique physiology, nothing more than this.

In spirituality, to give birth, to feed, give, breast-feed, and develop are the actions of a man on a Kabbalistic level. From within himself, he grows and gives birth within himself to the next level. He develops, nourishes, and takes care of it. So, is this the role of a woman or a man?

We need to consider everything according to a person’s spiritual deeds and actions.
[195044]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Question: I haven’t met a man who resembles the Creator yet. What does the expression “a man who resembles the Creator” mean? In what way does he resemble the Creator? Is there a chance that I can meet such a man?

Answer: A man who yearns to resemble the Creator tries to ascend above his nature and wants to resemble the Creator by bestowing unto others and by loving them.

By being part of a ten, I begin to practice exiting myself. By caring for the friends, I seem to fill them by yearning to be inside them, to push them forward, to fill them, to care for them just like for my little babies. I thus become similar to the Creator.

I ask the Creator: “let me understand, give me power, and let me care for them because then I will be like You. I respect You, I love this attribute of Yours, and I want to be like You. Therefore, give me the chance to care for them, and then I will be close to You.” Basically this is the real prayer of a man.
[195037]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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New Life #378 – Harmony Between The Sexes Without A Fight
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe

Summary

What has gone wrong with the way women function in a global world? What special force is there in a woman and how can she naturally manage in the world once she receives the right education?

The approach of fighting for women’s rights is wrong. It leads to conflicts. This isn’t a female approach but a masculine one. Who is in control at home? The woman is. Why? Because she serves, loves, and connects everyone. Nature has intended a greater role for the woman than the one she fills today; she has to lead the change. The female way to attain something is by agreement and acceptance, not by force. If women managed the world, there would be no wars. Today we all need to be re-educated.

A woman is the driving force in the transition to a new integral world. She has to come out of her hiding place and lead things. It is not a revolution by physical force but by integral education, by educating to connect and to accept. Will there be differences in the wages of men and women in an integral world as we see today? A modern woman needs to feel that she is responsible for the whole world, like a mother.

Tomorrow is the tomorrow of women, because a woman is a home and today our planet is everyone’s home.
[154537]
From KabTV’s “New Life #378 – Harmony Between The Sexes Without A Fights,” 5/20/14

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New Life #377 – The Female Approach To A Real Change
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe

Summary

What is the man’s place in complementing a woman who adapts to the integral world, and how can we carry it out in society by education?

Women’s organizations that operate in an aggressive male-like manner to achieve equal rights will not accomplish their goal. It is impossible to equalize what nature has differentiated. We have to find a way to reconcillation between the sexes. Aggressive women are successful in a competitive egoistic society,  but this is not exercising the female force.

The nature of the change we need today: in the past the strong prevailed, but today the one who is positively connected to others prevails. The fact that the world has become integrated makes it very difficult for the men, who cannot act in this network.

A woman, on the other hand, is a home, a family, connection, giving birth; she can annul herself for others and complement them. We need a transformation in the heart and mind of every person. We have to realize that the world is integrated and that we depend on each other. Women will digest this change in our perception more easily and thus will lead the change.

The change will start with learning. When we all learn where we are headed, both men and women, then we will act. Managing the change will be in combining the male and the female forces. The feminine demands and the masculine fulfills. The right mutual complementation will lead the world to peace and wholeness, without any distortions and pressures, to perfection.
[154468]
From KabTV’s “New Life #377 – The Female Approach To A Real Change,” 5/20/14

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New Life #376 – The Impact Of Women In An Integral World
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe

Summary

What forces do a man and a woman gain in a world that has become integral? What is the woman’s role in the family compared to a man’s, and how do they complement one another?

In ancient times we lived in an interconnected society. Then egoism separated us. Today we are reconnected once again. In the past women were very powerful because they took care of the home, the fire, and the children.

The role of women today:

• Women need to bring to the new world a demand for connection.
• We are on the borderline between the macho male history and the connected female future.
• The male’s nature is to aspire for control. The female nature is to seek the essence. They have to complement each other.
• Today we must first learn what the integral world we are facing is, what is the meaning of “we are one family.”

A woman’s nature is to care for the well being of the family. Today the family has expanded to the size of the whole society. Understanding the integral world will help women find their happy natural place, a sense of wholeness in life.
[154370]
From KabTV’s “New Life #376 – The Impact Of Women In An Integral World,” 5/20/14

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Question: What is the nature of men and women according to the wisdom of Kabbalah?

Answer: In nature there are two genders, two extremes, two poles: male and female; there is no middle pole.

There are two forces: the force of the Creator, the bestower, the giver, the source, is the force of giving; and the force of the creature is desire, a deficiency, emptiness, a desire to be fulfilled, to attract to itself, and absorb everything into itself. These two poles, the positive (masculine) emits and bestows from itself and the negative (feminine) draws to itself and wants to be fulfilled.

The creature was initially feminine because in all of us there its only a single desire, a desire to be filled, meaning to absorb, to draw toward ourselves, everything that we initially want. So in relation to the Creator, all of us are feminine.

Later we divide into those who overcome their egoism and go toward others. They are able to transcend their egoism in spite of the desire to absorb, and they work with an intention to bestow, with altruism, concern for others, the fulfillment of others. They are called men (masculine). And those who cannot overcome their egoism and still want only to fill themselves, think only about this, are concerned in every minute, every second, every moment only that everything will be good for them, they are called women (feminine) by the wisdom of Kabbalah.

In the wisdom of Kabbalah, the genders are distinguished according to spiritual indicators: Someone who bestows is called a man (masculine), someone who receives is called a woman (feminine). In addition, a person can change and be in one state at any moment and in another moment, the other. This doesn’t depend on one’s corporeal gender. If a person longs for spiritual development, one longs to be a man in the spiritual sense, a bestower.

There were many female Kabbalists in history. In the spiritual sense, they were called men and were above all other men.

So we must not relate to gender from the physical or corporeal aspect of men and women but according to whether the person is a bestower or a receiver. Currently I would say the women who are studying with us long for the characteristic of bestowal more than the men.

Question: From the perspective of the wisdom of Kabbalah, in what manner must a man function in a family?

Answer: In a family, the man needs to provide an example of how he transcends his egoism. But preferably not in a physical form (although this is necessary, especially for children). A man must show an example to  his children of longing for spiritual development, since without spiritual development our world will be destroyed.
[194903]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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