Question: One boy had a very bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and said: “Whenever you offend someone, hammer one nail into the fence.” On the first day, the boy hammered 37 nails. Then he began to learn to control his anger, and the day came when he did not hammer a single nail.

His father said, “Now for every day that you have managed to restrain yourself, pull one nail out of the fence.” One day there was not a single nail left in the door, he pulled everything out.

The father said, “Son, you have done a great job. But look at how many holes are left in the wood. It will never be the same again.”

The moral is this: Every time you offend someone, it leaves scars. You can take back your words later, but the scars will remain forever.

The question is, is it possible to resist offending another? After all, you say that we are egoists anyway. Can we do it?

Answer: No, every moment we try to lower others; otherwise, I do not feel that I am living!

Question: You see and feel it, but you do it anyway?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: And by this we, as if, leave scars.

My Response: This is the principle of existence of our world.

Question: It means it is all covered in scars, by and large. Are the scars in me or in the one I am lowering?

Answer: In fact, it is in you.

Question: So, these scars remain in me. If we cover our transgressions, the fact that we offend someone, as you say with love, what happens to these scars?

Answer: Then they heal! There are no traces left!

Question: So, is the assumption that it is possible to heal scars so that no traces remain true?

Answer: None of the traces.

Question: This is the most important advice! If you cover all this transgression with love.

Answer: It is said about this: “Love covers all crimes.”

Question: How can you cover with love? How can you do it?

Answer: Selflessly. That is, just love. That is all.

Question: You just now humiliated him.

Answer: No, not just now, it cannot happen right away.

Question: You felt that you humiliated him, and it made you feel bad. Is this the case in stages?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Do you have to somehow evoke love for him? Can this love be evoked? It does not exist in me.

Answer: Yes, love can be evoked. From where? Because there is hate. This hatred, from the opposite side, manifests itself as love.

Question: So my hatred for this person is what causes love. At what point? Is it when I feel like I am wrong or what?

Answer: It is under the influence of the upper light.

Question: But do I need to feel something? That I want to make it up somehow, it hurts me, I feel bad, I have scars! Should I feel this?

Answer: Yes. It has to be present.

Comment: Then, this is a man before us.

In most cases, we do not feel it. Basically, we justify all the scars we inflict.

My Response: It means that we will have to check ourselves and correct ourselves a lot more.

Question: Why are we not hurt by these scars, we have so many? We have already “massacred” many people.

Answer: But we do not feel it. Our egoism erases it all carefully.

Question: When do I start to feel this, and what is it to “cover with love” hatred or dislike for the other?

Answer: I cannot say any more. Imagine that you are writing on a blackboard and then you start gradually erasing every word you say and writing the opposite.

Question: Do you mean “I hate” – “I love”? “You” – “myself,” like this?

Answer: Yes.
[324446]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/8/24

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Alina writes:

I was raised by my parents in such a way that I was always to be blamed for everything. And I absorbed it like a sponge. And it got worse over the years. My husband and children all pointed out to me that everything was happening because of me.

That is how I live, blaming myself and thinking about how guilty I am. I am eating myself up today and I cannot get out of this hell. I am still relatively young. I want to live without this pain and guilt. Is it possible to get out of this?

Answer: Of course! Because the Creator sends it to you.

Question: How can I escape?

Answer: Rise up, rise above your self-esteem.

Question: That I feel it is my fault? “Everyone pointed out that I was to blame, and I got used to being the one to blame,” she says.

Answer: This is not true. A person is not guilty of anything at all.

Question: Should one come to this?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Can you give any practical advice to Alina so that she feels an answer that she can implement practically? What steps should she take to break out of the fact that she blames herself for everything that is happening all the time?

Answer: This is because she did not reveal that there is only one force in the world that creates everything, controls everything, and determines everything.

Question: Is it as if she does not act, but this force acts through her?

Answer: Yes. Through her. This egoism of hers plays with her in this way.

Question: What about the fact that her relatives, parents, husband, and children act on her in such a way?

Answer: It is all wrong; it seems to her.

Question: Is this really how the Creator works with her?

Answer: She attracts such relationships to herself. And it is not her fault at all.

Question: So her only action is to understand that this is how the Creator works with her? And that all is Him?

Answer: Yes. And that all is Him.

Question: Is it possible to understand it on some mechanical level by repeating it?

Answer: Turn it back to the Creator all the time.
[324703]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/8/24

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Inna writes:

Dear Michael Laitman, I am trembling all over when I write to you.

I have been living in Israel for 30 years. My children grew up here. Now the oldest one is in the army. He is in a combat unit at a closed base. The connection with him is very rare. He was just next to me, my child, warm, kind, and loving, and suddenly childhood is over.

This realization that childhood is over is terrible! I have a very strong feeling of emptiness! Here neither faith nor mind helps. The younger children do not help either. It is like a piece of me has been taken out of me. I am afraid for him! I feel like I am sinking into this worry! How do I survive this? How do I hold on?

My Response: You just have to believe. There is nothing else to say here. Believe that everything will be fine, that there is the upper force that arranges the fate of everyone, and it will treat each of us with kindness.

Question: My son, and in general, all our children?

Answer: Yes. It is very difficult to imagine a mother’s feelings. Nothing will calm her down except that he would be near her.

Question: Is that what she should want?

Answer: Yes. He should be near her! Under her heart!
[323740]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/7/23

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Question: A sage sat at the city gates as a man passed by he turned to the sage and asked: “Tell me, Father, what kind of people live in this city, good or evil?”

The sage replied: “Tell me about the city you’re from, what kind of people live there?”

“They are evil, cruel, and selfish,” the man replied.

“The same people live here,” the old man answered, and the man left.

Some time later, another man came to the gate. He asked the same question. The sage replied in the same way: “What kind of people live in your city?”

The man said: “I have a lot of friends left in the city, and the people there are good and kind.”

The old man said, “You will find the same people here.”

My conundrum is that it seems quite strange that what kinds of people live in my city it depends on me.

Answer: In general, yes.

Question: Meaning, if the first one said bad people live there, he was told the same is awaiting you here. And if there were good people there, then he’d find similar people here.

What is it? How does this mechanism work?

Answer: It is based on a person’s attitude toward society. The way one relates to society, that is what he feels.

Question: What if they hate me?

Answer: But why do they hate you? It didn’t just appear today. It is a result of your behavior.

Question: So if I see haters who dislike me, I have to ask myself: why do they hate me?

Answer: Yes, that is the only way.

Question: And what if I don’t determine, for example, why they hate me, as it usually happens?

Answer: It means you are justifying yourself.

Question: So basically I have to find the answer?

Answer: You have to find positive feelings in yourself and the same in others.

Question: So I should find why they hate me within me, and try to change something about myself. And if I can do something in regard to the hater, will he change toward me?

Answer: He will change. Help everyone and they will change.

Question: So should I even bother to justify this hatred coming at me?

Answer: This is human nature. If you perceive it correctly, you will perceive him the same way.

Question: In this case, should I consider it my nature or his selfish nature?

Answer: It is his selfish nature; that is how people are, but I’m showing them an example of the right attitude.

Question: And if I’m triggered, obviously inflamed, and want to respond in some way?

Answer: Then don’t. I will not respond or be enraged. I will extinguish it within myself.

Question: When you say extinguish, it seems almost forced?

Answer: Maybe in a way I am forcing myself because despite the fact that I want to answer, I don’t answer; I want to enter into an argument, but I don’t. And this will have a result.

Comment: But you know, they usually say when you bend the bow too much, it springs back hard.

My Response: That is when we don’t apply effort. If we go about it the right way, consistently, then acting this way prevails.

Question: Do you believe in these exercises?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Do I develop a habit of turning to myself and examining myself all the time? Will I develop something then?

Answer: Yes, you will develop an even, correct attitude toward people. You will learn to forgive them, and then everything will work out.
[322067]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/20/23

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Question: The cat said, “Rabbits are unworthy of being taught. I’m offering cheap mouse-catching lessons, and not even one rabbit was interested.”

In principle, the entire system of education is built on this. I am a “rabbit,” and I am constantly being poked and forced to study things that do not suit me at all. I don’t need anything.

How should the education system truly be structured? As a “rabbit,” what should I be given? Should I learn how to get cabbage and carrots correctly, or should I be taught how to catch mice? What should I know?

Answer: First and foremost, you should learn to exist safely. This is the most important thing for a living organism.

Look at what animals teach their offspring, exactly that. So should we provide such knowledge to the new generation: what to defend against, how to defend, why defend, and so on. That’s the first priority. The basics should be there.

Question: What’s next? Where am I heading?

Answer: Next? Multiply and provide for children, if this is the philosophy of a rabbit.

Question: We always talk about the goal and where to go. Should I somehow be guided toward it?

Answer: Of course, they should always show you your new goal—more detailed, higher, and so on.

Question: Should I be prepared for some lofty goal?

Answer: In principle, I think it’s not necessary. I believe that problems start when you chase after this lofty goal. We try to push our loved ones into it, and overall it doesn’t lead to good.

The most important thing for us is to provide people with knowledge, confidence, how they can safely build a family, and surroundings in which they can exist.

Question: What about the lofty goals you talk about all the time? Connection with others. Or does that fall under safety? Good connections with others and so on.

Answer: But that is not a lofty goal; it is a necessity for existence.

Question: So is this what we need for existence today? Good connections with others. Where is the supreme governing force in this whole system? Where is the Creator?

Answer: Where it is necessary, you will find it.

Question: So should I come to the necessity of the Creator in my life?

Answer: To some extent. Not excessively. If you promote the Creator and the connection with Him, you will run into very big troubles. There is no need. As much as a person can live peacefully and exist in his small circle, that is what he should be given.

Question: What’s next?

Answer: There is no next.

Question: Just to live according to these goals?

Answer: Yes. Who are we that we need something more?

Comment: We are thinking, conscious beings after all.

My Response: All our thinking and all our actions are only to start dominating others. So I don’t think it is a good path. It is an unsafe and generally harmful path that leads to destruction.

Comment: That is, when you talk about safety, you are saying that destroying others cannot be a safe path.

My Response: We must understand that a wise person is one who knows how to be content with the normal fulfillment of oneself and the surrounding society. That is, if we come to the point where only the necessary is enough for me, everything will start falling into place.
[321432]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/9/23

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In the News (Voice of Europe): “A unique retreat in Edinburgh, Scotland, known as the ‘Big Kid Kindergarten,’ has opened its doors for adults seeking to relive their childhood days. This establishment allows grown-ups to immerse themselves in a world of building blocks, arts and crafts, sandbox games and story sessions, offering them a temporary escape from adult responsibilities.

Can I do that? Or will we, burdened with our whole life, not be able to do this; will we not be freed like this?

Answer: I would not be able to sit in a sandbox.

Comment: Most likely I would not either, but I would really like to.

My Response: No. I am satisfied with my life and what the Creator has brought me to. I want only one thing—to achieve what I must according to His plan and that is it. I would be completely satisfied with that.

Question: You are a lucky man! You have discovered everything perfectly and you hit this point precisely.

But for people who are tired, exhausted from searching and being under the burden of responsibility and worries, to be able to go to this kindergarten, sit and play with each other, do you think this is good?

Answer: I cannot imagine how to live in Edinburgh. I know this city well.

Question: This city has reached kindergartens. So can they do this? Do you think there is a type of person who can leave everything behind and go play for a day?

Answer: Yes, this is for them. This is good.

Question: For a person who needs some kind of therapeutic practice to relieve stress, is it good to be able to do this?

Answer: Why not? If this satisfies a person and gets him calmer, we must guide him to terrible questions of existence so that he does not know where to turn to, and only after falling from this height to find himself with the right answer to the question: “What do I live for?” No.

Question: So you would put him in the kindergarten? If he feels good there, let him be in the kindergarten?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Children usually make contact with others easily. Children play, sit in the sandbox, and new kids join in. Can this lead to establishing more contacts between us if we put adults, conflicting individuals, in kindergarten?

Answer: It will no longer be called “kindergarten,” but some kind of psychological institution.

Question: We play adult games now—wars and so on. If we somehow manage to change to children’s games, to make it happen with the same passion, is it possible or not? Maybe there is a solution in this?

Answer: This is the game, what we are doing with wars and such. This is the very game.

Question: Can it be shifted into children’s games so that there are no victims, no blood, no hatred?

Answer: It would not be exciting.

Comment: That is the whole problem.

My Response: What can you do?

Question: Is there no way to put them in kindergarten and let them fight it out there?

Answer: No! You cannot make grown-ups children completely.

Question: You just called them adult children. Is it not a slip of the tongue? Do adult children grow up like this?

Answer: Yes. They have to grow up, but they can only grow up if they cover themselves and each other with serious bruises.

Question: How can these adults be calmed down?

Answer: There is no need to calm them down. We need to exhaust them so they do not know where to run or find any kind of reassurance. We need to wear them out until their heads spin, they wobble as they walk, constantly feel like they are about to fall, and they do not know what to do.

Question: What would that achieve? We are talking about adults playing games.

Answer: This is fear of the next moment of your life. This is an important point.

Question: Do you mean that fear should be instilled in an adult?

Answer: We must even impose it so everyone is afraid for their lives.

Question: What will come of it?

Answer: One will reason more sensibly and plan the next step. This is better than being calm.

Question: Can this be done at the state level?

Answer: On the global level. That is, from one person, to many people, to the whole world.

Question: Can this stop all the madness that exists?

Answer: Certainly. I think we will come to this.

Question: But how can we do it? How can we wear someone out?

Answer: With horror stories, but only good ones, that is, with smart stories that explain where one is, what he is in, and how this leads him to a state where he will not find peace neither today nor tomorrow, before death or after death. That is the main thing. Because he thinks: “Well, at most I will die.” No, it does not end there. He will want to rise above death.

After all, we will explain to him that it does not end there. Therefore, you need to find a way out, how to deal with this situation. That is the main thing.

Question: And then one will think of how to take the next step?

Answer: Then, yes. I believe that without the fear of death, an ordinary person will not be able to live correctly. But there are those who do not care, who even before their death, before all this, want to know, learn, and reveal. For such people, everything is open. I am all for it.

Question: Is this how a person should feel?

Answer: It depends, of course, on the root of the soul. I don’t think this is for everyone, but it should be open to everyone.

Question: In that case, what game should we play?

Answer: We must understand that revealing the meaning of life is the most important thing we need in this life. That is all.
[317723]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/24/23

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When your child earns his first money for ice cream, do the following:
1. Before he has a chance to lick his ice cream, snatch it from him and bite off 20%.
2. While your child stares at you in amazement, take another 30% bite.
Then give him the rest of the ice cream and explain that this is what the state does with all the money someone earns. And this will be the case with every ice cream he buys for himself. And that the percentage of the bite can be reduced by grabbing the biter by the hand and demanding to know why they are taking so many bites.

If every parent does this, there is hope that a generation of people will grow up in this country who will understand that the government does not have its own money—it only has taxpayer money. And that taxpayers not only can but should, monitor how government officials spend their money. (Unverified attribution to Margaret Thatcher)

Question: What do you think about this way of educating a citizen? That from a childhood prepare to be robbed: distrust—verification—control. What do you think about a child being brought up this way?

Answer: The words are right. It is good when the child feels such stress.

Question: Is it good that he is already ready to be robbed by the state?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: Actually, this is a child. Let us say 10 to 14 years old.

My Response: No, that is already an adult.

Question: Do you think this is a possible option to educate like this?

Answer: Yes, it is good for the child and good for the person in general, for parents, and everyone.

Question: So he does not go out into the world with his arms open. He knows that the world is anxious and will bite them off. Do you think this is a good entrance?

Answer: Yes, it is quite good.

Question: What do you think about a prime minister who insists that a citizen should monitor him and his employees and subordinates? Margaret Thatcher, they say, was like that.

Answer: Yes! She was tough! She did not dismiss the criticism, but on the contrary, listened.

Question: Then what is trust in the government?

Answer: When I know, I am sure that the government is acting correctly. Then I trust it.

Question: Is it when I understand that it correctly takes a precise amount of money from me? Will it be only after some kind of check by me?

Answer: Absolutely.

Question: Is the person also being educated if he lives like this?

Answer: Naturally. He checks others for everything and checks himself, and sees that it all fits into the right system.

Question: Is this self–control, and control in general, mandatory?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Then in general, what is the correct education of a citizen?

Answer: The correct education of a citizen is that he knows his political economy well: where the money comes from, where it goes, and how he manages it.

Question: That is, how he would have done it himself. Does he become a citizen who knows this and understands all this?

Answer: Yes. At least, he should understand that in his business, in his work, and in his house, he should be a businessman, a master.

Question: Is this the correct education of a citizen?

Answer: Of course. Then this is correct at the level of the house and the family, and the state in general.
[317783]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/24/23

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Comment: Anya writes: “We live with our parents. My husband insisted on it because we wanted to save money. And now I cannot bear it anymore, I am bursting with hatred for his mother! She criticizes everything: how I cook, how I iron, how I raise children. We cannot move away yet, and my husband says we need to wait at least another year. I do not know what to do! I cannot live like this! Right now, I have closed myself in my room and I am writing to you. I understand that this is my ego, that I need to somehow adapt myself to her, but I cannot control myself. Does she not have an ego? A big one!”

My Response: Of course. But you should think about yourself. If you constantly put yourself down, you will eventually come to a state in which your ego will decrease, and this is good.

Question: So, peace will gradually come?

Answer: There may not even be peace, but as for you, you should see that such a state can be very useful.

Question: And when you say “put yourself down,” does that mean to agree?

Answer: To agree, to somehow distance yourself as far as possible and not to enter into conflicts.

Question: That is, his mother tells her: “You iron, cook, and raise children so badly.” Do you think this woman, Anya, should at least keep silent? And this will be advancement for her?

Answer: Yes.

Question: So, you see that this is a never ending war?

Answer: It cannot end in any way.

Question: Do you think that Anya should be smarter here?

Answer: She should be wiser.

Question: Should she close herself in her room? It is easier to leave and not listen. Just like that she closes herself in her room and stays there.

Answer: But that is not correction. Correction takes place only through contact.

She must tell herself that it is by this decision, when she does not enter into conflict and stays away from it in every possible way without arousing it, that she gradually corrects her egoism. In this way, she saves her family.

Question: Can you please tell her if she can move to such a state that at some point she will be able to say some kind words to her husband’s mother? Can this happen?

Answer: Only when she becomes convinced that she has corrected herself due to her husband’s mother. And then she can hug her and say “thank you.”

Question: Now you have introduced one more detail: that due to her husband’s mother she can correct herself. That is, she already has gratitude even for the mother whom she now hates?

Answer: Yes.

Question: But these first steps are not easy to take?

Answer: This can be corrected only if she sees in her husband’s mother the Creator who raises her this way.

Question: Could you please decipher the Creator for us? She sees that behind the mother there is something that is working with her. Should “and wishes me well” be added here? Should we make such a cluster or should we not?

Answer: The mother is ruled by the Creator. Anya should figure this out.

Question: Will it be good if Anya takes small steps in this?

Answer: If she does, then yes.
[317327]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/31/23

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I know people who have a lot of money, and they get testimonial dinners and they get hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them. If you get to my age in life and nobody thinks well of you, I don’t care how big your bank account is, your life is a disaster (Warren Buffet).

Question: Do you agree with this?

Answer: This is true, of course.

Question: Must one strive to be loved? Is this the right direction?

Answer: A man would like to be loved; at least to finish with such a result is good.

Comment: But we are very often forced to take some unpopular steps.

My Response: We are in a completely opposite world.

Comment: Where no one loves anyone.

My Response: Of course. How can we even express such ideas here as “in order to be loved.”

Question: And if I do everything for this? Here he is, a billionaire; he donates, he wants to be loved, and he comes to this thought. Is this the right thing for these people to do?

Answer: No, he will not correct the world in this way. All his actions will again turn into egoistic ones and they will not lead people anywhere.

Question: So when you say “to be loved,” you mean something different from what he does?

Answer: Of course.

Question: So what do you mean?

Answer: I cannot advise him on anything because it is useless.

Question: He no longer needs it, so advise us. What does it mean to live like this, to be remembered, and to be loved? What does a person need?

Answer: It is only necessary to engage in education. Only education! Otherwise, nothing will happen in the world.

Question: So you claim that the most respected job for a man is to be an educator?

Answer: Yes.

Question: How does he educate people then?

Answer: He must explain to them in every possible way what the purpose of creation is, that only in realization of the plan of creation can a person achieve happiness.

Question: What do you mean by the purpose of creation? Should he also attain this purpose of creation?

Answer: The educator himself must attain it and then convey to people that when a person himself does good to others, he fills and enjoys himself.

Question: Let us delve deeper then if possible. What do you mean by good?

Answer: By good I mean filling another person with what he desires.

Comment: But he has a lot of different desires.

My Response: No! This already depends on education, fill him with the right kind of education so that he would require a normal minimum filling.

Question: This needs to be clarified. A person needs to be clarified in such a way that he lives on such a normal filling and does not require something big, billions of dollars, and so on?

Answer: And feels that if other people can be led to this, then this will be the complete happiness.

Question: That is, in order that people live, rejoice in the necessities that they have, and do not demand anything more beyond that? Is this what you call a correct education?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Do you not want to move on, to say something higher?

Answer: When I cut bread, I cut it into slices. So this is the first slice.

Comment: Then let us stop at the first slice
[317243]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/7/23

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Question: Can birth rates be regulated?

Answer: Birth rates can be controlled with the help of money and housing. If young couples are provided with conditions such as money and living space, then, I think, this can increase the birth rate. But these are huge public expenditures.

Question: You once said that there is a certain global plan in increasing or decreasing the birth rate with the help of which a correction is made. What is the meaning of this process from the point of view of Kabbalah, from the point of view of a common desire?

Answer: Of course, this refers to adopting a certain general plan for the movement of mankind to a certain limit.

But I do not think that we can talk about it now because we are still in an absolutely imperfect state. First, we need to solve a lot of problems, and only then, when we see what a family can be, what a person, children, and so on can be, will we be able to solve questions about the reproduction of generations.
[316610]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah in the modern turbulent world” 8/3/23

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