For the first time in my life, I feel that I am able to disengage from my own interest and act for the sake of others, that is, to separate from my “I” and do what the Creator wants and what is needed for humanity.
Such readiness in a person is the beginning of spiritual conception. I move from the power of egoistic desire that paints this world for me, to the altruistic desire, and feel myself in the world of the Creator, in the power of the group. And this is not forced enslavement, but my desire to hand myself over in order to free myself from the shackles of my egoism.
I am not yet able to perform an action of bestowal upon my neighbor, but I already feel that such a possibility really exists. That is, I am getting out from under the power of egoism to the power of the Creator.
I move under the power of bestowal, as if from one room to another. The first room was governed by egoism, which the Creator had appointed to control me. I was a slave of egoism, obligated to fulfill all its demands.
And now, I move into another room where the desire of bestowal reigns, and I feel this transition. And this is called a spiritual conception. Gradually, in place of egoism, the desire of bestowal enters me and changes my thoughts, desires, intentions, and actions.
Sometimes this desire for bestowal disappears and then comes back. And I want to pull it by force toward me for it not to leave me. And sometimes I start playing with it, weighing which will outweigh, the desire to enjoy or the desire to bestow, and study this transition from one power to another.
Thus, I begin to enter more and more deeply into the state of the spiritual embryo. This continues for nine months of pregnancy until a person is born into the spiritual world.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/11/21, “Ibur (Conception) and Preparation to Birth”