Remark: We understand that freedom of will is only in selecting the environment and it is not possible to change the basic qualities of a person.
My Comment: There is no need to change them.
Question: Should we not try to demand that our spouses change their qualities?
Answer: In no way! They are given to us from nature and will remain the same. The only thing we can do is combine their use for the benefit of our connection so that in this connection between us we would reveal the upper force. This is our goal, our reward.
Freedom of choice is only in the fact that both I and the opposite party annul ourselves and form such a place on this mutual annulment in which we will discover the upper force, as it is written, “Husband and wife, the Creator between them.”
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 12/31/18