Answer: It is not at all necessary to break and destroy yourself! It is up to you to learn to use all of your characteristics correctly, especially the most horrible ones that you are even ashamed to admit to yourself.
Question: How is it possible to use the most terrible characteristics without harming someone?
Answer: The most terrible characteristics are those through which you want to harm others and yet you get unusual pleasure from them. If you have some kind of aversion to a particular person, he is against you or he seems to be intolerable to you, then you want to harm him, to make him sorry through your actions.
Here the wisdom of Kabbalah says, “This is not right. You need to do this completely differently. If an enemy rises up against you, try to correct those characteristics within you that make you his enemy. Then you will stop provoking him against you.”
First and foremost you must think about how to correct yourself. Someone else who reveals a negative attitude toward you is actually giving you an example of your own faults. So it is up to you to think that maybe they are revealing your negative traits to you from above.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 5/1/16