Answer: Annulling yourselves to each other and mutually entering one another according to the principle of love thy neighbor as thyself should bring us to a connection with the Creator. Thus, I not only annul myself and become no one, a zero, but actually perform actions that help me connect to the friend so that he will be able to come in contact with me easily. I do what is good for him by annulling my ego and allowing him to establish contact with me naturally.
It makes no difference whether he is an egoist or not. I don’t judge him and don’t try to understand anything about him, but I simply annul myself so that he will be able to contact me. If he reaches the same state, I am glad that my actions of self-annulment relative to him have brought us close together, and it is the same with the other people.
But when the friend comes in contact with me, I feel a need to mutually cooperate with him, I feel how he nears me, and how he is incorporated, comes in contact with me, and even somehow dresses in me. Now I can begin to cooperate with him more actively. Here I have to switch on my anti-ego, not suppress the ego, but rather operate it in the opposite direction: What would my friend want of me? It isn’t that I simply become easy to contact, but rather easy and convenient to be used, so that he should use me. Then I begin to grow.
In other words, I don’t just operate according to the principle of don’t do unto your friend what is hateful to you anymore, but I work for the other as he would want me to, which means that I use my ego in order to bestow. I come in contact with the friend, work for his desires, and do my very best to fulfill them. These are high acrobatics.
From the Convention In Sochi “Day Two” 7/14/14, Lesson 4