We have to remember that spirituality is different from corporeality. In corporeality, we always want to see the results right away. Sometimes it’s the product we made: Suppose I made shoes; sold them, and received money for them. I see the shoes I made; I see the results of my efforts, the fruits of my labors. I can evaluate, improve, adjust, correct, and make them better only if we actually see them.
It is said: “There is none wiser than the experienced,” and the experienced is earned with one’s own hands. We apply effort somewhere, and there we see the results of our work. So over time, through trial and error, I correct myself and become a professional, skilled craftsman.
But the difficulty is that in spiritual work, we cannot see the results. Just imagine a musician who would strike the piano keys and couldn’t hear any sound. How could he play? When a child is taught how to write, he is given a notebook to enter letters strictly between the lines. But in spirituality, I have no “lines,” and even the letters I write are invisible!
How can I adjust myself if I can’t see any response? I invest efforts, but they disappear like water seeping into sand. Well, let’s say, I’m willing to sacrifice any results for self-benefit. But I still have to somehow adjust, check, improve my work, and gain experience. How is it possible?
It doesn’t work this way in spirituality. We don’t get any response, and this weakens us. I can’t make an effort that doesn’t cause any visible reaction. It’s like talking to a wall. All my energy vanishes.
But the reaction does exist, only it doesn’t take place within the same desire; in other words, it occurs in a different place. If at least a tiny part of our efforts are correct, that is, if we have an intention to exit ourselves and connect with others, to get closer to the Creator and give Him the opportunity to disclose Himself to us, to bring Him joy without demanding or anticipating to get anything in return, the reaction accumulates. It turns out that the place of our work and the results we get are completely separate from each other.
Should we ask to see the results of our work? If we see that we did something correctly, it will fulfill us and bring us satisfaction. It can stop me and hinder advancement because I start working for that gratification. But then how can I analyze the work I do and check that I am not driven by our self-interest?
How can I see the reaction without enjoying it egoistically? How can I manage to accept the information only, without the sensation, without the desire to receive pleasure? This is called demanding a desire to bestow. In other words, I don’t even want to know if I am bestowing to the Creator because in my current state, I would inevitably enjoy it and be comforted. I just want to make actions, detached from enjoyment and fulfillment, not to bring calm to my desires, feelings, and thoughts. This takes work.
The result of our spiritual work is called “a find.” The results show up as if at exactly the wrong time and in a place we didn’t expect it. And the result itself is separate from the desire; therefore, it is totally unexpected.
This happens on all spiritual levels, because every time it is a new world. Our sensations open to a new level, a new depth and quality, in a completely new range that never existed before. Our sensations and evaluation criteria undergo revolutionary changes; they are “upgraded.” That’s why it is called “a discovery,” “a find.”
From the Preparation for the Daily Kabbalah lesson 11/7/13