One who begins to walk at the beginning of the line needs great care so as not to deviate to the right or to the left of the line even as much as a hair’s breadth. This is so because if at first the deviation is as a hair’s breadth, even if one continues completely straight, it is certain that he will no longer come to the King’s palace, as he is not stepping on the true line.
It’s not clear how one can keep the right direction if one has deviated from it once. So this is a very serious warning. How do I know that I have never been wrong before? Is it possible to choose correctly if I am at a certain point now after having made a mistake? Can I find the right direction and advance if I am at the wrong point?
It’s a very uncertain and scary situation. Like all of you, I have made many turns throughout my lifetime. I have been confused and took the wrong direction. So how can I find the right direction after all this? Even if I find it, will it correct all my previous corruptions?
Such questions make our state very uncertain. How can I advance if I don’t know for sure that I have been following the right path? How many times have I gone in the wrong direction?
Hence, one who walks upon the true line of preparing for the work of God (Israel, the Torah, and the Creator is one.) must always test himself to see if he wants the three above aspects equally, as the end of the act is equal with its beginning. If one wants one of them more than the second or the third, then one deflects from the path of truth, and understands this.
This is the meaning of, “Open for me one aperture of repentance, such as the eye of a needle, and I will open for you gates where carts and coaches enter.” Interpretation: the aperture is not for entrance and exit, but to insert the thread for sewing and for work.
Similarly, you are to crave only the commandment of the upper One, to work, and then I will open for you a door such as an entrance to a hall. This is the meaning of the Explicit Name in the verse, “but in every deed (spelled like Hall in Hebrew) as I live and all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the Lord.”
An eye of a needle means worrying about uniting Israel, the Torah, and the Creator into one point. We constantly worry only about that and this point becomes smaller and more focused. In order to reach it we have to constantly unite all the 613 attributes, meaning the desires that awaken in us and which are opposite from one another and present different conditions: those of Israel, those of the Torah, and those of the Creator. We need to unite all this into one whole, into unity.
If we can bring all to such unity, it means that we collect everything into one point into an eye of a needle. When we focus ourselves on one point through an optical instrument, we can see an opening in it that leads to a new world.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/24/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam