Question: Why do I have to make such great efforts not to fall asleep during the lesson although I exert a lot of efforts in the study and in dissemination?
Answer: I will tell you a secret: People who are attracted to spirituality, who want to reveal the Creator, don’t like to study…. It’s because they want to feel! They may even seem a bit stupid and sleepy. They can read the same passage ten times and not understand what it says. I have experienced it myself.
If you let someone on the outside read this passage, he will immediately “understand” what it says. This is very typical of the wisdom of Kabbalah since the point in the heart is awakened in a person when he reads, the point of feeling and not the mind. A stranger perceives the text in a totally logical way, and so he has no problem understanding what it says.
This is the reason that we sometimes see how new people come to the group and apprehend and master the material easily. It’s easy for them to understand what the text says, they immediately begin to study TES, and in a month or two already begin to discuss the most complex theory. People with the point in the heart, however, who have studied for ten years, cannot understand what it says since they are looking for a feeling and not for logic, like a clever donkey.
We should understand that there are two main obstacles for students. The first obstacle is when we discover problems in the group, in the relations between the friends, but we don’t understand that these problems are actually the springboard forward and we escape them.
The second obstacle is that a person reads the text over and over again and already knows it by heart, but feels that he doesn’t understand what it means. This is true not only with regards to the theory in “Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah” or TES, but even with regards to Shamati and other articles. Certain articles may sometimes move a person, but most of them seem dry and do not touch the heart.
This is actually a good sign. It is said: “It isn’t the wise who learns.” It doesn’t mean that I am giving you permission to sleep during the lesson, but in fact I do understand it. I have never made complaints to students who sleep since I understand them. It isn’t just feeling tired, but a result of wanting to feel spirituality. If they don’t feel that, they don’t understand why they sit in the lesson.
It’s said about this: “Time does what the mind doesn’t do” since the mind cannot really help us here, but time can! This means that with time the Light influences us when we are in the group or even when we sleep during the lesson. You should just let the Light work on you, and the sensation will come.
From the Convention in New Jersey 5/10/13, Lesson 1