Rabash, Letter 40: And should you ask, “What can one do if he feels that he has a heart of stone toward his friend…”

The advice is very simple: The nature of fire is that when rubbing stones against each other, a fire starts… And only when both of them intend for a gift and not for charity, through the wearing out of the hearts, even of the strongest ones, each will bring out warmth from the walls of his heart, and the warmth will ignite the sparks of love until a clothing of love will form. Then, both of them will be covered under one blanket, meaning a single love will surround and envelop the two of them, as it is known that Dvekut [adhesion] unites two into one.

When a person begins to work in a group he doesn’t feel repulsed by others. But as soon as he feels the need to connect with the friends, as it is the means for attaining the goal, the vessel for the revelation of the Creator and through this connection one attains bestowal and adhesion, and only after that are the others called “friends” and not before; this is where the problems start. These people don’t seem like strangers anymore: Everyone takes on a certain color, a form, and becomes versatile and full of different emotions.

The friends summon in him very complex emotions and it isn’t easy to connect with them anymore. He doesn’t want to connect with them anymore. He doesn’t want to hug them and to sit at the same table with them for a meal or to dance together.  Different evil thoughts overcome him with regard to his relations with others and he begins to feel that it’s very difficult to connect with them.

The more he understands the need to connect, the more distant and unrealistic it seems to him. New interruptions are increasingly evoked. It’s about this kind of work that the Torah tells us first in the story of Abraham and Isaac and then about Jacob, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Eventually, this work becomes the exile in Egypt, when a person feels such terrible distance from others that it’s impossible to ignore it and it’s impossible to connect.

The more a person tries to overcome his ego and to connect with others, the less he succeeds. He experiences “seven years of satiety” and “seven years of hunger,” with regard to the connection since the whole war against the evil inclination is only over the connection. Then there are the plagues of Egypt, the plagues of Pharaoh, that force a person to finally understand that only the upper Light can help him.

He decides that he cannot live without absolute love anymore, that will break his heart and the shards of his heart will penetrate the hearts of his friends. This is the only thing he wants and nothing but it. Thus he begins to work on the love that doesn’t immediately turn into true love, but starts from some preliminary connections, but this is at least a certain connection.
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From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/16/13

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