A person comes to the wisdom of Kabbalah with a very personal question about the meaning of his life. He wants to know about himself and what he lives for, what is going on in the world around him, and what he has to do in order to understand what is going on and to manage his fate by himself. It is very hard for a person to connect the answers to these questions, which are so personal and intimate and which come from his most internal point, with others.

It seems that one thing contradicts the other: On the one hand, there is my internal point in which I want to discover the secret of my life, and on the other hand, there is society and all of humanity.

I could accept the idea that I need to connect with nature, but it is hard to accept the fact that in order to do that I have to connect with some group of people and to be so strongly connected to them, a connection that I cannot bear, to feel that they are the dearest, closest, most beloved people to me.

I have to work on this above my feelings and my mind, above all my previous patterns. Of course, it seems very distant and unclear, but we must understand that it is thanks to this that the entrance to the spiritual world is revealed to me—it is through the love of others that is so distant, hateful, and opposite to everything that I want.

For me there is nothing more unpleasant and repulsive than the need to connect with others above my desire, to serve them, and at the same time, to know that all the reward will go to them and not to me, that they will have everything. I and my heart will also be with them! Here, where I am, there will only be my empty ego.

It is very hard to understand this, but by studying and working on ourselves we gradually begin to perceive this principle. There is an inner logic that is concealed in the one thing that is most hateful, distant, and senseless in our world, and this is what represents the spiritual world for us. Through it, through the opening that suddenly appears in the wall, we can go through the Machsom (barrier) that separates the spiritual world from this world.
[90037]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/11/12, Writings of Rabash

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