How To Become Happy
Opinion (Jane Jones, David Wong): ”If 80s movies taught us anything, it’s that at some point you’re going to run into a mysterious relic that lets you switch bodies with other people.
“Would you use it? But let’s say the artifact doesn’t let you choose, but will instead switch you randomly with one of the other six billion people on the planet. Virtually nobody will take that deal, for fear they’d switch with some poor villager in Nigeria.
“So what does that say about us? Well, according to experts, it says almost everything we think about what would make us happy is dead wrong. Let’s look at the five things we’re most wrong about…
“#5 Fame…
“This is brand new to humanity, for thousands of years, material goods and security dominated. Now, fame is at the top. Obviously part of the reason is the perception that anybody can get famous these days–reality TV and YouTube have proven that you can become a celebrity for doing not a…thing. But there’s another, less obvious factor. And it explains why so many famous people are miserable.
“So What’s the Problem
“Experts say where you find kids who desperately want to be famous, you find a history of neglect at home. Parents were either absent completely or, at best, emotionally distant…. It turns out the whole surge in aspirations for fame came right along with the explosion of single parents and ‘broken’ homes. Only half of today’s children live with their original two parents.
“You can see how this sad mechanism works in the attention-starved mind. The kid is programmed by biology to love a parent, but the parent doesn’t return the love. Fame lets them turn the tables on that arrangement. When you’re famous, millions love you, but you don’t even know their names. It’s purely one-sided. They wait for hours in the cold for your autograph, you barely glance at them on the way to your limo. You get to take their love and wipe your…with it, the same as your parents did to you.
“But it turns out that kind of massive, paper-thin adoration is a poor substitute. Famous people are four times as likely to commit suicide as the rest of us (…you’d think it’d be higher–everybody reading this has seen more than one of their favorite performers self-destruct).
“#4 Wealth…
“Hey, remember when we said earlier that most people wouldn’t do the body-switching thing for fear they’d wake up in Nigeria? Well according to surveys, Nigerians are happier with their lives than the people of any other country.
“The USA came in 16th.
Hey, did we mention that the average Nigerian makes $300 a year? That’s less than a hundredth of what the average American makes. America being the country that hands out 120 million prescriptions for anit-depressants every year.
“China is turning into a great object lesson in this, as their economy explodes and incomes skyrocket, but levels of happiness and personal satisfaction are dropping at the same rapid rate.
“There’s a couple of reasons for it. First, your brain adjusts feelings of happiness downward after you’ve reached some goal or other. It regulates the good feelings, presumably so that you have motivation to reach the next goal instead of just lounging by the pool for the rest of your days. …
“#3. Beauty…
“Yes, being physically attractive has concrete advantages. Attractive people earn more, get better grades, have better jobs and find more successful partners than average or ugly people. Strangers are more likely to help them in a crisis. They have wider social circles.
“So What’s the Problem
“Remember, we’re talking about happiness here, not success. For one, attractive people have the same self-esteem problems the ugly people do. Like money, attractiveness is relative and if you’re hotter than your friends, at that stage you start comparing yourself to people in the media. You know, like the magazine covers we mentioned before, the ones that that have had the living…Photoshopped out of them. …
“#2.Genius
“We’re using the broader definition of the word “genius” here, meaning anyone with an extraordinary talent or skill. …
“Want to know what it’s like to live life as a genius? All you have to do is go hang around with the stupidest, most incompetent people you know. Cringe at their stupid jokes, feel the frustration as they fumble even the easiest tasks and fail to grasp the simplest concepts. Being a genius must be like that, only everyday. Everyone is an idiot compared to them. They’re living Idiocracy. …
“If you’re not the Einstein kind of genius, it doesn’t matter, any situation where you’re 10 levels above your coworkers is going to be daily frustration. If you’re a genius at spreading concrete, that feeling only occurs to you in the form of everyone else being sloppy and helpless. No wonder they wind up treating people like dirt.
“Not that you’d have time for friends anyway. Genius takes practice. Lots of it. …
“All of this is a great recipe for the stereotypical depressed, moody genius who dies alone and bitter.
“Wait, it Gets Worse…
“If your genius lies in some kind of creative field, then there’s a good chance you have actual mental illness to deal with. While only one percent of the population suffers from bipolar disorder, it is claimed that 50 percent of poets, 38 percent of musicians and 20 percent of painters have it. It’s just part of the package.
“Compare the number of great musical innovators who have died of suicide or drug overdose versus, say, the number of plumbers who have died the same way. It might be better to just stand in the poop all day.
“#1.Power…
“…power is what everything else on this list is about. Fame is about having power in the relationship with the fans. Beauty is about gaining power through others’ sexual desire and jealousy. Genius means society needs your skills more than you need its approval. Money . . . well, money and power are conjoined twins. …
“So What’s the Problem
“Maybe you’re eying the kind of job where you’ll be the boss, or maybe you want to go into law enforcement. Or maybe you’re just driven by that bitter, unspoken urge almost all of us feel at least once in our youth: ‘I’ll show them! I’ll show them all.’…
“It has nothing to do with the ‘culture of corruption in Washington DC’ the Libertarians are always talking about. You find it everywhere, from the…supervisor to the bitter gym coach. Small people driven to mindless, unethical behavior, drunk on just a few drops of…power. They often can’t make friends, their marriages end badly, they self destruct. The world is full of these miniature, sad Tony Montanas, destined for a proverbial bloody downfall.”
My Comment: Research shows that friendship, altruism, and community service bring happiness and satisfaction. Detachment from attempts to arrange personal, individual happiness and focus on others is what makes happiness possible.
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