Answer: I manage my states when I am with the friends sitting in a circle with them and discussing different problems and options regarding the connections between us: When does the ego help us and when does it distract us? How can we attract the attributes of bestowal and love, connection, mutual guarantee, and so on?
When we discuss these issues, I am involuntarily in different contrasting states, such as “I don’t want to listen to a friend, but I have to listen to him, “he is higher or lower than me,” “I agree with his answer or disagree,” and so on. Why do I agree with him? It may be because I simply like him, but someone else not, so I don’t want to listen to him and I didn’t even hear what he had to say.
So, it isn’t just the process, but the issue itself, the words, and the interactions, everywhere at every level, when I overcome the egoism and the altruism. Eventually there is a revelation, an intensive clarification of these two opposing attributes inside me.
What is more, when I am in a discussion with all the friends, I first intensify my attributes and, second, I expand myself by absorbing them. Thus, a person develops in many aspects by the integration of and communication between the two opposing forces.
From “A Virtual Lesson on Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 9/23/12