Every time we want to transition to the next state we have to build it. After all, it doesn’t exist: There is no spiritual world, no Creator—nothing. I build everything within me, and everything there depends solely on me, on my “construction.” It means that when I ascend to higher levels, I have to form and visualize them in front of me: “What will my next step of advancement look like?”
My next step is as follows: There is no “us,” only “I”; everything is inside of me and a part of me. Each time I rise to a new step, I see the whole world inside of me, in my perception and sensations.
Then again, the world seems to me as a place that is alienated, separated, and shattered into various conflicting states. So, I have to assemble all its parts back together again—within me, and to relate to everything with love and unity, without any exceptions.
This is the way I ascend all 125 steps, each time increasing the range, the resolution of the picture of perception. With each step, I take a deeper look into the shattering and correct it to the corresponding degree. It’s my perception and my sensation that was broken. It fractures our unity into small splinters, partly distant, opposite, and hateful to me.
In his “Preface to The Book of Zohar” Baal HaSulam writes: …we should be so grateful to His Providence for having created that polished mirror in our brains, enabling us to see and perceive everything outside of us. This is because by that He has given us the power to perceive everything with clear knowledge and attainment, and measure everything from within and from without. Without it, we would lose most of our perception.
In other words, we would never attain the only authentic state that exists. We simply would not get any closer to it, nor would we understand or sense its depth if we didn’t go through the shattering. This is why our authentic state is deliberately broken into pieces and each of them opposes, contradicts the others. What once used to be one whole now is split; the parts that were similar now are antagonistic. It’s beyond our imagination.
We are trying to reconnect them through our own efforts by bowing our heads and consenting with our friends. I want to fill the gaps between them; I would do everything I can to reconnect them together inside of myself due to my love and correct attitude. By persuading myself in this way, I come to a profound understanding of the essence of Malchut of the world of Infinity, which in fact is my unified soul.
The depth of our realization depends on the revelation of the shattering and the understanding of its opposite, the wholeness. The gap between them is so huge that it requires special tools, the vessels. So, it’s said that we have to enlarge our vessels “620” times, meaning to reach a depth that is comparable to Infinity. Besides, in the gap between both states (broken and complete) we reveal the Lights of NRNHY.
Actually, everything we feel in this world is built upon contrasts: bitter and sweet, dark and light, hatred and love, etc. It even applies to music and perception of colors. We perceive everything as the difference between its corrupt and corrected forms; one is always opposite the other.
So, Infinity has always been perfect. We are now talking about our attainment: When we sense something that doesn’t have its opposite, we can only feel the tiny Light of Nefesh–de–Nefesh. In our world, no single particle of any substance lacks two poles, a plus and as a minus. Even an electron (charged negatively) or a positron (charged positively) both still hide opposites within them, which are yet to be discovered. After the shattering occurred, there is not even the tiniest particle that doesn’t contain its opposite, even though it presents itself to us only in one aspect, through one borderline, without revealing the other.
Initially, while the creature was in the world of Infinity, it was in a totally unconscious, mindless state. It had nothing to make comparisons with; there was no space between the two poles—a place for thoughts and perception.
Then, the Infinity split into the parts of the world of Nekudim. Now, we can understand and sense its depth. This is the perception of reality, to which we aspire. It’s our life, an unprecedented harmony, a symphony of minuses and pluses that encompass the entire attainment, the whole understanding between the two states: corrupted and whole.
From the North Convention of Unity 9/20/12, Lesson 2