Mutual Guarantee: “Love Covers All Sins”

Dr. Michael LaitmanHow can we correct ourselves in order to have a good, peaceful, and safe life? Otherwise, we’ll remain unemployed, with a crisis in family relationships and upbringing, and with problems in everyday life. We arrived at the point where the absence of mutual understanding and concern became the determining factor of our destiny. All of humanity is like one family, but this family is dysfunctional.

That’s why we are talking about the reconciliation that needs to happen with the help of a third force. When problems arise between spouses, they seek the help of a professional psychologist (it’s fashionable now to have a personal psychologist), who then gradually brings them closer to each other. He or she talks to each of them separately, talks to both of them together, asks questions, explains the situation, and obliges them interact and open themselves up to each other. He helps them to first understand themselves and then to understand their partner.

And then it becomes clear to each of them that even if they are opposite to the other, it’s worthwhile to make mutual concessions. And so one doesn’t lay out every complaint, and the other forgives and concedes in the things that he or she doesn’t like, as it is said that “Love covers all sins.”

We understand mutual “sins” since we are all egoists by nature and don’t take anyone else into consideration. But if it’s clear to us that there is no other choice, whether in a family life, in industry, or in ecology, then out of helplessness we’ll accept the method that will help us connect to each other. This method is purely psychological: talking to each other in order to better know and understand a person’s character or the peculiarities of an entire nation—to talk and not to be ashamed, to speak openly, like intelligent grown up people.

Yes, we are different, but we need to unite above the differences, without suppressing anyone or reproaching for unpleasant tendencies and properties. Everyone has them, but we rise above them and say: “Love covers all sins.” Sins exist, but gradually, out of love, we stop paying attention to them!

It’s the way a mother considers her child to be the most wonderful, the most beautiful. She is incapable of seeing anything bad or unworthy in him because love blinds her and she sees only the best in him. And even though there is bad in him too, she doesn’t notice it. But conversely, in a neighbor’s child she sees the negative and not the positive part because she has no love for him. But as soon as she feels love for him, she won’t be able to see anything bad even in him, but only good.

We see this in life. If you tell a mother about flaws in her child’s character or behavior, she won’t agree with that. She will either completely justify him or deny everything altogether because she truly doesn’t see anything bad in him. This is what we call, “love covers all sins.”

Likewise, one gradually comes towards the mutual guarantee that we need to reach. There is no choice, and we are beginning to examine and study each other from afar. But from the beginning, this study needs to be aimed at building the connection of love above the differences.

That is, we make concessions in advance, and then we get an opportunity to also unite on a level of feeling. And when we come closer, the world becomes peaceful and secure. We aren’t afraid to let our children play outside by themselves since any person will look after them no worse than us, and we’ll care this way for others. If we dream and imagine a good society, then of course it has to be a society in which the law of mutual guarantee is observed.
From KabTV’s “A New Life” Episode 5, 1/5/12

Related Material:
Humanity As An Integral System
Through Integral Upbringing To Mutual Guarantee
Love Will Cover All Deficits

Learning To Make Concessions

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: How do we transition a person from the state of cerebral perception of this idea onto a level of feelings through which he would be willing to concede?

Answer: It’s only possible on the condition that a person sees and therefore feels, relying on a large number of examples, just to what extent he or she is connected with others and depends on them, how he doesn’t have any choice, and how good it is to be in a correct connection with others. In other words, a person needs to see what he gains and what he loses. This is the phase of persuasion.

Afterwards, we move onto practical exercises with groups of people. These need to include questions and answers, games, songs, and films: We need to guide a person through the emotional perceptions for and against mutual guarantee and unification, to show them, in a real way, what can result from implementing or failing to implement these principles. This is the second phase.

In the third phase we need to use what we refer to as “habit becomes second nature.” We already spoke about this in our previous talks. If a person gets used to taking others into consideration and being connected by mutual guarantee in a small group, then gradually, by studying this and realizing that it’s beneficial to him or her, the person transfers this to an ever-wider circle of people until he attains the state where he perceives the entire world as one common circle.

We need to engage the scientists who speak about this in scientific terms in cooperation with us. They explain from the perspective of nature about what’s happening now and what will happen in any given scenario, just like a doctor who says: “You have a certain illness and only this medicine will help you. But this medicine is attainable.” It is difficult indeed, but a person is prepared to give everything for their life.

We need to utilize the force of the environment, which can convince a person of anything. I can start calling black, white. If there would be 20 people standing next to me and over 20 hours they’d be convincing me that this is white, I will start thinking that it is in fact white. My brain will alter the program and as a consequence of external persuasion, I begin to see that this is white! There are practical confirmations of this.

The influence of the environment on a person changes his or her properties, changes anything that we’ve gotten used to. We didn’t know what we were seeing and what was happening around us, this is something we were taught! And now we only need to understand that a person can be taught anything. It’s difficult to erase one’s stereotypes, but we don’t do that, we only correct within him or her, their egoistic distortion so that by using bestowal towards others, he would receive enjoyment himself.

Ultimately, he will receive a sure egoistic gain, and how could it even be otherwise?! He is being taken care of, being promised all that is best; he just needs to make concessions for that, but so what? You need to pay for everything in life. Actually, this isn’t even that great of a concession, since as soon as a person begins to relate to another with goodness and love, he begins to enjoy the fact that he is giving.

A person shouldn’t constantly be feeling pressure and stress: “I have no way out, I will treat you well even though it requires great emotional force and internal exertions…” Not at all!  We need to create such mass media, such external influences on a person, that he would change, and suddenly it would be easy for him! He will begin to enjoy the fact that he is treating you well. He will discover that he is in a wonderful world! Everyone treats him well, and he is good to all!

We need to transfer from the rails of coercion onto the tracks of voluntary participation, to learn to concede, at first forcibly, and then out of our own will and desire.
From KabTV’s “A New Life” Episode 5, 1/5/12

Related Material:
The Environment Can Do Anything
Outcome: One Upbringing For The Whole World
It’s Nice Doing Good!

Jobs And Spiritual Advancement

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: When people start to treat everything according to the principle of “There is none else besides Him,” it’s as if they stop functioning in life; they lose jobs, family problems arise, and the material foundation crumbles. Ultimately, this really interferes with their spiritual advancement. We know that there’s also another perspective: “If I am not for myself, then who is for me?” How can I discern “There is none else besides Him,” when I have to find the second perspective within and approach life according to “If I am not for myself, then who is for me?”

Answer: We shouldn’t throw these phrases around since in principle, they also speak about other degrees. Usually these phrases pertain to spiritual development, and not only the corporeal. What can be done in order to correctly aim a person at the goal so that he won’t err on life’s path? It’s difficult. I’ll give you an example of just how difficult it is.

I also quit my job. I had a wonderful clinic with twelve doctors, a large staff, technology, and so on. In those times, you can say that the turnover of this clinic was in the millions. I simply gave it away, gave it away! I didn’t even sell or liquidate it, but gave it away in order to get rid of the management duties, without getting even a cent afterward. I could not continue working. This is why I understand people like that.

The best thing is when you work at a simple job. My teacher Rabash said the same thing. He was always being offered promotions at work; they wanted to make him a team leader and then a department manager. “Under no circumstances! I want to be a simple worker.”  “But this way you can earn five or ten times more!” “I don’t want that.”

Until the very last day of work, until his retirement, he remained a simple clerk. He worked in the income tax offices, filled out forms and papers, understood these mechanics perfectly, and didn’t want to climb higher. He would say that this allowed him to think about his spiritual work while he filled out papers on autopilot. And before that he worked in construction and wherever else as a simple laborer.

In other words, when a person has a creative job, when at work he must bring something into being, then it is difficult for him. But if he does mechanical work that doesn’t require creativity like in a machine shop or a garage, then he can continue working and I don’t see anything shameful in that. He is required to work. A person is required to be married, have children, family, and a job. Through this he exists within the framework of our world, and on that basis can develop further.

The group needs to support him in that and help. But again, he needs to work in order to provide a normal life for his family, and not for the sake of excess. But this he does have to do. How can we help with this? Within the group there needs to be such an atmosphere that obliges you to look after your friends so that they won’t fall and neglect their jobs. And if someone’s husband is having some kind of problems, the wives have to inform the group about it.
From the Vilnius Convention 3/24/12, Lesson 3

Related Material:
There’s No Need To Go Off To A Monastery
About Diapers And Eternity
Who Will Help Me?

Daily Kabbalah Lesson – 04.01.12

Preparation to the Lesson
Download: WMV Video|MP3 Audio

Shamati #41What Is Greatness and Smallness in Faith
Download: WMV Video|MP3 Audio

The Book of Zohar – Selected Chapter Beresheet (Genesis),” “The Correction of PBP de Zon,” Item 330, Lesson 93
Download: WMV Video|MP3 Audio

Talmud Eser Sefirot, Part 7, Item 35, Lesson 14
Download: WMV Video|MP3 Audio

Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot,” Item 130, Lesson 57
Download: WMV Video|MP3 Audio