Question: When a man is going through unpleasant states, we recommend that he connect to the group and solve his problem there, through the integral connection with others. What can we recommend to a woman in a case like this?
Answer: Male instructors, who teach groups of women, must notice these things and help women. Several men must work with women’s states, and not just one man. Moreover, constant work with the group leads to women overcoming these states.
Question: What do you mean when you say that male instructors need to work with women?
Answer: Support, explain things, have individual talks with women.
When several male instructors see that a woman really is in a very difficult state, we must work with women as well even though this happens very rarely; women usually overcome these states on their own; it is much harder for men to do.
Usually at least two instructors should be speaking with a woman. And if we have a husband and a wife studying in separate groups, then by temporarily putting them into one group we can influence the wife through her husband, and vice versa.
Question: What do you mean by “influencing?”
Answer: Support, for example, if the man has fallen or become weaker in his integral development.
Question: And the other way around? We can influence a woman through a man?
Answer: It can be done in a family. We can tell the husband to support his spouse, but he must not tell her that he was instructed to do it. Naturally spouses decide everything between them. In every situation, we advise one of the partners how to unassumingly give the other partner the importance of further integral advancement, and show that this makes him or her greater in the eyes of the other partner, and he or she is valued a lot.
From a “Talk on Integral Education” #11, 2/16/11