When the mind agrees that the truth is in bestowal, a person has to work on his heart, which according to his nature only feels receiving as sweet and bestowal as bitter. Working in converting receiving to bestowal is the work in the heart. Logically I agree that the truth is bestowal and now I have to feel sweetness in bestowal. This is attained by habit, due to performing certain actions with force at first: listening to what the friends say, envying them, and trying to do what they do.
These actions, which are against my will, draw the Light that Reforms upon me. After all, it isn’t about the mind that can be persuaded, but about the heart, about the desires. Only the Light can change the desire since it created it in the first place. So if I work systematically in order to draw the Surrounding Light upon my desires, I gradually begin to feel the importance of bestowal.
It takes several years. After all, since the first week I arrived, I came only to learn, and just speak about the greatness of bestowal. I see how the friends speak about it and I repeat after them, like a baby who repeats what the grownups say, even if he doesn’t understand what it means. But I consciously perform actions of bestowal towards the friends, which means that I study with them with the intention of drawing the Light that Reforms, so it will change me.
I keep thinking about the Light that will change my attitude to bestowal. Bestowal needs to be more than just a theoretical truth that I recognize in my mind thanks to the evidence obtained. Now I am looking for the Light that will change my heart so I will feel the sweetness in bestowal.
Some of the sweetness that is felt in bestowal is a result of my actions. If I help the friends, I receive a positive response from them and I already feel sweetness in that. They treat me nicely in response to my bestowal and I begin to respect myself for having bestowed upon them and for helping others. This means that I begin to change my attitude to bestowal even by simple corporeal actions, which let me feel its sweet and pleasant taste.
But the most important change in the taste is done by the Light that Reforms. All this work is called the work of the heart.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/30/13, Shamati #148 “The Scrutiny of Bitter and Sweet, True and False”