Tu B’Av—The Time for Choosing the Bride
Bina is the quality of faith in its abstract form, but this faith is realized in Malchut, for faith can only be practically applied where there is the quality of reception. The will to receive first appears in the stage of Hochma, yet it is not realized from the side of the created being.
The will to bestow appears in Bina, but still without practical realization. From the combination of both emerges the fourth stage (Dalet), where there must be faith, and according to the measure of faith, there is reception. The will to receive in Malchut results from Bina’s desire to bestow and Hochma’s desire to receive, which Zeir Anpin fully unites together.
The 15th of Av (Tu B’Av) is considered one of the most auspicious days for Israel. A good day is one when one can give the most to the Creator. Tu B’Av symbolizes reception in order to bestow, but as a pledge for the future, when Malchut will have already been corrected. At present, though there is an ascent of the worlds, it is due to an awakening from above and not from the work of the lower one.
The end of correction takes place on Purim. Tu B’Av represents the joining of Malchut’s receiving desires under all the proper conditions, and emerges from the four phases, represented as four groups of maidens seeking grooms: Hochma, Bina, Zeir Anpin, and Malchut.
“What would the beauties among them say? Turn your eyes to beauty, for a woman is only for beauty.”
“What would the wellborn among them say? Cast your eyes on family, for a woman is only for sons.” In The Eye of Jacob he adds, “The wealthy among them say, ‘Cast your eyes on the wealthy.’ What would the unsightly ones among them say? ‘Take what you take for the Creator, as long as you crown us with gold coins’” (Rabash, “The Fifthteenth of Av“).
Thus, all the stages would pass—Hochma, Bina, Zeir Anpin—until it was Malchut’s turn, and it was revealed that the Kingdom of Heaven (Malchut Shamayim) must be poor and destitute, not rich, beautiful, or noble. Only through our work do we become able to remain loyal to her.
This festival embodies our search, our disillusionment with our own strength, our readiness by any means to separate from the will to receive and remain loyal to bestowal, to demand nothing for ourselves. I ask the Creator to give me protection from my will to receive, my greatest enemy. I must come to hate my egoism so deeply that I will not succumb to any temptation.
Let my ego simply die—it will receive nothing! Let me myself disappear—it does not matter, for I must pass through the point of total restriction and be born on the other side of the barrier, which means the death of my will to receive for my own sake. This is life and light for me, for life exists only beyond this barrier (Machsom).
To do this, one must come to the fourth phase, Malchut, the unattractive, poor, and humble bride called “faith.” If, despite her poverty and lowliness, I can remain loyal to her, it means that I have attained faith. This is the condition for attaining Malchut: agreeing to cleave only to her, regardless of all other alluring forms.
Faith is accepted without any conditions; otherwise, it is not faith, but a calculation or transaction. Faith cannot have a self-serving foundation, I want to rid myself of egoistic calculation. Without this, I cannot enter the spiritual world. This is the entrance condition: cleansing oneself of egoistic desires and remaining only in bestowal. The quality of bestowal is the absence of any calculation for self-benefit.
If I strive to attain faith, I pass through all these stages, one after another, and meet the “brides” that precede Malchut—the beautiful, the wealthy, and the noble. In the end I come to the point where I want nothing but to be freed from all this “nobility.” I want there to be only the Creator, and for me not to exist. Only then does spiritual life begin.
I am ready to abandon all calculations and cling to the Creator without any deliberation. Thus, I become a spiritual embryo. I want the Creator’s program to govern me, to determine all my behavior, thoughts, and desires. Let another engine operate within me.
Now my egoistic engine turns and seeks how to gain more, succeed more, and delight myself. But I want a new engine, one that constantly turns me toward the Creator and seeks nothing for itself, for a new program of bestowal to act within me. This means that the upper light is revealed within me, and grants me a new vision of life, and with these new eyes, I see the upper world.
Out of all the “brides,” out of all desires, after long discernments, we choose the one that demands nothing but adhesion, to base all its reception solely on faith. This bride seems ugly to the will to receive; it lacks nobility, wealth, and beauty. Yet precisely when I receive nothing for my egoism can I be wholly loyal to the Creator. I am ready to die as long as I can remain loyal to Him. This is the condition for crossing the Machsom.
Tu B’Av is the choice of the Kingdom of Heaven (Malchut Shamayim). After the 9th of Av, nothing remains for myself. Everything has collapsed, the First Temple and the Second. And then comes the 15th of Av, when I can base my relationship to the Creator solely on the quality of bestowal. This is why the 15th of Av is considered the greatest holiday.
Thanks to the revelation of the ruin on the 9th of Av, on the 15th of Av I gain the ability to hold onto the Kingdom of Heaven, to choose the true bride, Malchut.
The four brides that we choose from are our attitudes toward the group; we expect to receive from it wealth, knowledge, and nobility. But in the end, I see that I will receive nothing except one thing: through loyalty to them, I will attain loyalty to the Creator. And this is my greatest treasure.
All this appears ugly to my will to receive. I see nothing good in this group and would gladly reject them—yet it is precisely through this form that I can come to the Creator if I accept it. The whole world shows how it hates me for engaging in bestowal and how it would support me if I were as egoistic as everyone else.
The world becomes very sharp in this respect. No one accuses me for egoistic reception, but everyone attacks me for striving for bestowal. And if I change, I am immediately promised a good life and the return of the three advantageous brides—the stages Aleph, Bet, and Gimel.
Here one must be very direct and not enter into any compromise. The Creator will confuse me in every way, but the condition for crossing the Machsom is to say: “Better death than such a life.” Then I will see how all these illusions dissolve and vanish.
The true bride is the one who will remain with me on the condition that I am ready to accept her as she is, even the ugliest in the world. She has neither beauty, nor wealth, nor nobility, nothing attractive. Why, then, do I love her and be drawn to her? Because only in this form can she bring me to the Creator.
I see that it is the Creator who plays with me through all these illusions. He tempts me with wealth, intelligence, knowledge, and nobility, and bribes my vanity. But in the end I understand that the greatness of the Creator is in modesty. Therefore I must lower my pride and demands, and seek not beauty or nobility, wisdom, or wealth, but only the desire to cleave with all my heart, and then I can “marry.”
The period of the 9th of Av is a time of death and destruction. But from the 15th of Av onward, from the joyous day of Tu B’Av, when we choose the true Malchut Shamayim, we begin the preparation for the congress, for connection between us and adhesion with the Creator, now with the correct desire.
[250970]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/16/19, Writings of Rabash The Fifteenth of Av
Related Material:
Tu B’Av An Unpretentious Holiday
The Day Of Love
Happy Holiday Of Love!
Video: 
Audio: 
