Question: What actions should the clarification of truth and lies lead me to?

Answer: Figuring out the truth and lie leads me to the only action—annulling myself before the upper. After all, the truth is in the upper, while in me, given that I am the lowest, it is always a lie. To reveal the upper, I must accept Him by faith above reason. All the conditions the upper gives me, I must recognize as the truth, and all my inner impulses as lies.

It turns out I want to come out of myself and stick to the upper, to receive His values and try to follow them according to His mind. It is like a child who wants to use his father’s mind, and due to this, he grows up, acquiring the mind of an adult.

Due to our annulment before the upper, we gain additional opportunities. This is not how it works in our world. If I annul myself before you in this world, it means I give up one of my opinions and accept yours because I consider you to be more intelligent, cultured, educated, or a better scientist. I am annulling myself on a specific issue so I can learn from you.

But in the spiritual world, I have to annul myself before the upper in everything, so that nothing of my own remains in me. Not even like a child before adults, but much more. I need to annul myself as if I do not exist at all: annulment in thoughts and feelings. But I do it rationally and with great wisdom. Special psychological work is required here. I examine myself and observe how I annul myself before the upper to clothe in Him and adopt His state.

This form of annulling myself before the upper allows me to rise to His level. First, there is my complete self-annulment before the upper, which is called the “embryo” (Ibur). Then, there is an even greater self-annulment, which is called feeding (Yenika). And then, even greater self-annulment, called adulthood (Mochin).

Initially, it is a very simple self-annulment, although it is not easy for us to resolve ourselves. I annul myself as if I simply do not exist and turn into a single point, a drop of seed in the womb of the upper. This is just the beginning of my self-annulment. But then, to master this degree, I need to take all my previous thoughts and desires and transform them to match the upper.

They will always be the opposite because Malchut of the upper has turned into Keter of the lower; therefore, the dregs of the upper were food for me—sweetness and truth. What was garbage at the upper level (in Malchut of the upper), waste I did not want to use, turned into food, sweetness, and truth for the lower.

If I want to do other work, I have to turn all the bitterness I feel now into sweetness, and everything I thought was sweet should become bitter at the degree of the upper. All my truth, when transferred to the level of the upper, must turn into a lie, and all my lies must become the truth of the upper. This means that Malchut of the upper turns into Keter of the lower. If I want to rise, I have to do the inverse work.

But first, I just annul myself without figuring out where the truth or lie is. No matter what happens, all I care about is annulling myself before the upper as if I do not exist, and turn into a point, a drop of seed. But then I start analyzing myself and turn bitterness into sweetness and lies into truth, and so I climb the degrees.

In the nine months of embryo development, I am constantly growing due to the fact that I am annulling myself more and more, turning all my lies into truth, all the bitter tastes of giving into sweetness. It is a vast and continuous work to transform yourself into your opposite in all your desires and thoughts, turning them all to giving, bestowal, and feeling the sweetness in all this.

Clearly, this change occurs due to the light coming to me. But I must constantly annul myself at an ever higher level for the light to work on me. The light that comes to me during these 9 months of growth of the embryo is called “blood” (Dam), from the word “inanimate” (Domem), which gradually corrects me. Then, I go through the stage of “feeding” and become an “adult.”

The whole ascent from the lower to the upper consists of the work of self-annulment. Therefore, through disseminating this knowledge and reaching out to the general public, we realize our self-annulment. After all, by annulling ourselves before the people, before this world, by serving it, we annul ourselves before the Creator in it. Because it was the Creator who placed this whole world before us.
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From Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/30/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam “The Scrutiny of Bitter and Sweet, True and False”

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