Rosh HaShanah is the time to ask forgiveness from the Creator for your crimes. In other words, I feel that I do not have a sense of the importance and greatness of the Creator, and I apologize for this. After all, if I felt the greatness and importance of the Creator, then of course I would behave differently. It turns out that I lack only the feeling of the Creator.

And that’s why I ask: “Let me feel You and I will become different!” This is what a person should say to the Creator; this is the correct request and the right apology. After all, why do I commit crimes? Because I lack the sense of the Creator, which is called faith. There is no feeling of the Creator, there is no faith, and therefore, there is no one to stop me. I cannot do otherwise because if the Creator does not rule over me, then the evil inclination, egoism, rules.

Therefore, I ask the Creator to take authority over me. This is my main request, after which we come to Rosh HaShanah, we come to the king, and we want to place Him to reign over us.

I want to repent of all my sins, to know and feel everything that prevents my correction. I ask the Creator to open my eyes and let me feel where the crime is and where the commandment is so that I understand where I fulfill His covenant to give, to love, and to unite, and where I do the opposite.

I don’t feel it now at every moment of my life. If I did, of course I would improve. The problem is that I don’t feel the Creator, the force of bestowal, which I could check myself with. So with this, I turn to the Creator and demand that He give me the opportunity to test myself regarding the force of bestowal, and then I will never commit a crime.

We do not recall the past and do not ask for forgiveness for it. I should not cry about what happened, but about the fact that I do not strive for correction and do not require the Creator to help me in this. I want to move forward, not dig into the past and shed tears about what I did.

Did I do something? I didn’t do anything, the Creator did everything. And He did it on purpose so that I now know what I need to fix. I take this evil, the crime that has now been revealed, and begin to correct it. My whole aspiration is forward, not backward. This is the difference!
[271026]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/16/20, “What Is Preparation for Selichot (Forgiveness)”

Related Material:
Rosh HaShanah—Beginning Of A New Life
Atonement, The First Step To Correction
Who Do We Ask For Forgiveness On Judgment Day?

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