If a person has attracted some light but is unable to retain it permanently because his desires are not yet sufficiently corrected in order to receive the light with the intention of bestowing, then this light must disappear from him. It turns out that a person achieves bestowal, but each time he returns to the past. And so he repeats his attempts again and again.
The main thing is not to settle down and to continue this work. As the proverb tells about a man who was allowed to enter the royal treasury and collect money in there with a small cup. But on the way out, the guard knocked the cup out of his hands, spilled out all the money, and he had to go back to the treasury.
So he cried, thinking that he would never fill his vessel. However, after many such attempts, he began to get smarter and understand the King’s plan. After all, in this way he could take out many sparks of light from a locked place and illuminate this dark world located outside the royal treasury!
Drop by drop, a big amount accumulates, and in the end he gets back all the lost light. In the end, due to such inputs and outputs, he has acquired the qualities of bestowal.
If he had not lost a little light in the beginning, he would not have been able to get more with his tiny vessel. Therefore, we are moving up in the degrees. How can I get to the next degree? Only due to the fact that my vessel, which I filled for the sake of bestowal, will be emptied. Thanks to this, I will gain twice the desire to fill it relative to the previous filling, which I have now lost.
It turns out that this minus from the feeling of loss and the previous plus from the fulfillment of working together is supporting in me the desire to reach the next degree. It is said about this that “the darkness will shine as light.” I received a filling for the sake of giving of a hundred grams, and after I lost this filling, thanks to the loss, I began to desire two hundred grams already. And so every time I double my desire and advance.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/31/22, “Pesach (Passover)”