We are required to exert ourselves in quantity and in quality until “many pennies add up to a big account.” It is only bit by bit that we can collect our efforts since efforts are the inner resistance, the overcoming and the clarification that are opposite to our desire.
Here both the quantity and the quality are taken into account since there may be a desire but it may not be clarified enough. It isn’t the outcome that is important, but rather the efforts a person makes, which are absorbed by the general system, and it is a cumulative process. This continues until it becomes possible to return them to a person and to fully present them.
A person cannot accumulate these efforts since if he accumulated and collected them, it would weaken his search. If he knew exactly in his mind and heart, if he knew and felt what efforts he has already made, he would lose his powers to advance and would become numb.
So there is this kind of forgetfulness, and the efforts accumulate unconsciously, disappearing within. But at some point we will get them back according to the law of, “He shall vomit what he has swallowed.” At the beginning all our efforts are swallowed, as if trickling though sand without a trace. But when their sum reaches a level that matches the next level of the upper Light, there is an equivalence between the deficiency that has accumulated to a certain quantitative and a qualitative measure and the Light, then the Light and the desire are revealed in each other in a person.
Every revelation is always sudden and comes as a surprise. This whole process is called a “unique quality“.It is because it is almost totally concealed from a person. The Creator’s thought operates in its depth on the created being in order to prepare him and to help him attain the form that matches the Light.
So, as much as a person remembers and feels and as much as he forgets, as many efforts as he has already made and as many as he still has to make—all is calculated according to quantity and quality and incorporated in the general system, in the system of connection among all the souls. A person has to become an active, efficient, and useful part with regard to the system.
Of course, this is only about his feelings and revelation here, because everything is concealed and revealed only with regard to a person, not that the system itself has any deficiencies. If a person reaches the level in which he can be an active efficient component consciously, then he is rewarded with revelation.
So we should understand that we mustn’t delve into and try to calculate what seems to us as obstacles, forgetfulness, weakness, and efforts that are lost and that leave no traces, forcing us to start anew each time. We must not make any calculations here since we don’t understand to what extent everything is measured and arranged accurately every step of the way. We only have to work on hastening time by constantly evoking ourselves as much as we can.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/30/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam