Question: The Creator, or Atzmuto (He Himself), sounds very egoistic. Is this the point of ultimate egoism in spirituality?
Answer: The point is that we attain the Creator from the bottom up to the extent that we become like Him. We are the absolute desire to receive and He is the absolute desire to bestow.
We reveal Him to the extent that we can make our desire to receive resemble His desire to bestow. But He Himself, Atzmuto, is unattainable. We only attain our resemblance to Him from 0% to 100%, that is, not the Creator, but ourselves in the corrected state.
We cannot feel Him. We can only feel ourselves when we become like Him.
Question: So, apart from my current sensation, the Creator does not exist?
Answer: Correct. The Creator is our subjective sensation of the upper force that formats us, manages us, and fills us. We cannot say anything else other than that.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 2/24/19