There are several rules in the spiritual development of a person. One of them is that there is no coercion in spirituality.

However, how can a person develop if he does not receive some control signals, signals that control you and your impact on others, as feedback?

When can we determine whether there is coercion or not? Only when there is a desire and a person is not forced to act against his desire, but is put in such a state when he is forced to make the correct choice.

After all, in principle, we can say that in our world a child is constantly being coerced: “Go to school! Do something! Do not bite your nails! Do not pick your nose!” And much more.

Is it coercion or education? What is the difference between education and coercion? It is in the fact that they explain to you why they put pressure on you. This is already called education. It is the same in Kabbalah.

The main thing that happens in Kabbalah is the gathering of people in tens, when its leader, who is not part of the ten but is outside of it, tells the others what they should do. And they, as if at the command of a coach, must perform certain actions because they want to achieve a certain spiritual state.

Therefore, coercion in spirituality is only when a person coerces himself. It can be, on the contrary, a very pleasant state if he is in a group and takes an example from it, the group helps him. At that, he uses envy, jealousy, inspiration, excitement, and so on.

In such positive and negative influences of one person upon another in the ten, people can reach states where they do not feel that they are putting pressure on themselves, but on the contrary, they are always in spiritual elevation.

Therefore, if a person feels that he is acting involuntarily, under pressure, reluctantly, and unwillingly, this only indicates that he has incorrectly organized his spiritual environment.
[282285]
From KabTV’s “Spiritual States”

Related Material:
Only Education!
The Uncompromising Upper Kindness
The Light Hurts Your Eyes That Are Used To The Dark

Filed under: Spiritual Work - No Comments →

Question: Modern psychology assures that the phrase “Don’t cry, my child, here is a candy for you” is a terrible mistake parents make. Psychologists say that you need to help your child get through the sadness.

What do you think about that?

Answer: First, I believe that parents should not answer their child: “Get over it and get used to it.” This is not a parenting approach—on one hand. On the other hand, since it is necessary to explain why someone is in such a state, even a child, it is necessary to teach parents how to answer correctly.

Question: So you don’t support giving candy?

Answer: No. It is not good to avoid and remove yourself from the need to go through these states with the child. While he is still a child, it is necessary to teach him how to get over it correctly. Together with the parents. And then he will be able to do it himself.

Question: That is, the child got hit, he is crying, you should not buy him a candy so that he stops crying. We need a conversation with him. What can you say to a child who got hit?

Answer: Explain to the child that he needs to be more careful, why he was hit, what happened.

Question: So you seem to be talking to him like equals?

Answer: No, he should feel that an adult is talking to him. And yet, he should feel that he is being educated. A child should understand that the adult wants to explain to him how to treat any, especially unpleasant circumstances in his life correctly. Even animals teach their offspring: they help, explain, and play with them.

Question: And if a child is assembling a kit and he fails, a parent comes, does he have to assemble the kit for him?

Answer: You have to be a teacher. The teacher is the one who hints at the correct options, explains the wrong ones, mistakes, and so on. That is, it is “debriefing.”

Comment: Psychologists say that if a child is sad, there is no need to rush and get him out of this by any means. It is necessary for him to feel what sadness is.

My Response: Not sadness for the sake of sadness, but for him to just know how to get out of it, and that these states have the right to be with us just like fun and joy.

Question: What should the correct attitude of a parent toward a child who is growing up be?

Answer: To become his friend and to do things with him.

Comment: Is it possible to become a child’s friend at any age? Can I be a friend to my three-year-old son?

My Response: It is already too late with a three-year-old one. Starting at about one year of age, a child already understands that you are playing with him and how you are playing, as equals or not.

Question: That is, you need to become a child’s friend?

Answer: Yes.
[281518]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/15/21

Related Material:
How To Raise A Confident Child
Eight Principles Of Successful Parents
The Essence Of Generational Conflicts

Filed under: Children, Education, News - No Comments →

Preparation to the Lesson

Lesson on the Topic “The Lord Will Finish for Me”

Writings of Baal HaSulam, “Study of the Ten Sefirot, Vol. 1, Part 1, ‘Histaklut Pnimit,’ Chapter 8, Item 30″

Selected Highlights

Filed under: Daily Kabbalah Lesson - No Comments →