Question: How can a person stop himself from condemning the Creator?
Answer: A person cannot stop himself from doing so. We are not in control, at best we can request. By requesting, we operate the Light that Reforms, but we don’t perform the actual action. Only the Light can perform the correction.
The Light of the “world of Infinity” that appears at my request by fulfilling my desire to improve—to get closer, to adapt myself to the Creator—performs the necessary actions. Only the request is mine, and it must be only in order to bestow so that I will be attracted only to bestowal and that my accounts are only according to that.
I don’t take my feelings into account. It makes no difference if it feels good or bad, and I only see to what extent I can justify the Creator. This is the only thing that hurts me. My pain is not related to my corporeal body but to my attitude toward it. Will I be able to justify the Creator on top of my feelings in my corporeal body and to be adhered to Him until I love Him, or not?
In the meantime, my living flesh is cut seven times a day, but I prefer the point of adhesion in its posterior. Then, its face is revealed, which is indeed a great pleasure, but absolutely not in my old, egoistic vessels and not in the same Light of pleasure that I thought about and expected.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/19/14, Writings of Baal HaSulam