But then the second stage feels that this did not make it similar to the root. It may not be receiving anything, but it’s not bestowing either!
It only got worse because before I was attached to the Creator like an infant and I did everything that He wanted. I enjoyed infinitely, and even though I did it for my own sake, the Upper One was receiving pleasure from this!
Now, I supposedly got bigger and I do not want to receive from Him, but it turns out that I am not giving Him anything to enjoy, even the way an infant does, because He receives pleasure when I receive from Him.
So what have I done? I have gone even further away from Him! (And this is why the second stage is considered to be a stronger desire than the first stage, even though it does not receive anything.) It is as if I were neglecting Him…
An infant is closer to the mother than a grown child who feels independent and does not want to receive anything from her.
Then the second stage, Bina, decides that if it were to receive the Light from the Creator, He would really enjoy it; this is how we get ZAT de Bina.
The execution of this decision takes place in the third stage, in Zeir Anpin, who receives the Light for the sake of bestowal due to the strength of Bina. In other words, the upper determines this decision (Therefore it is considered that the head of Zeir Anpin is in Bina – ZAT de-Bina).
And then the fourth stage Malchut comes and sees how much pleasure there is… I am Zeir Anpin, who receives for the sake of bestowal, when I perceive the Creator and feel that I am just like Him!
I want to enjoy it both: the fulfillment that I am receiving and the equivalence with Him! I want to enjoy all the pleasures that exist in the Creator; this is called the fourth stage of development, Malchut.
A restriction (Tzimtzum Aleph) is done over this fourth stage, and we no longer receive fulfillment egoistically.
And then second restriction (Tzimtzum Bet) takes place, from ZAT de Bina to Malchut. Malchut penetrates all these desires and says: “Do not even think about reception! It is impossible to receive anything, you will not be able to!”
The fourth stage of desire penetrates the third and the second stages, and now there is a sensation in both Zeir Anpin and ZAT de Bina that any contact with reception of Light will be egoistic.
Previously, there was no feeling that the desire to receive pleasure is so opposite to the Light! But now it is there. But still this prohibition only exists because of Malchut and not because of Zeir Anpin, and especially not because of Bina.
After all, Zeir Anpin is planning on bestowing, but the question is: in which desires is he planning on doing it? Is it in the desires that he had before the fourth stage appeared or is he now planning on receiving for the sake of bestowal in the fourth stage, in Malchut?
And this confusion consequently leads to the breaking, when they were not able to understand why this is impossible. After all, if we are planning on receiving the Light for the sake of bestowal, like in the third stage of Direct Light, then this is an altruistic action.
But it turns out that the fourth stage has already penetrated these desires, and once you get to feel what Malchut is—pleasure from being equal to the Creator—you no longer can refuse it, you desire the taste. You have the fourth stage within you, and you cannot receive for the sake of bestowal!
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/25/10, Writings of Baal HaSulam