Suppose a thief with a guilty conscience expresses his regret and says: “I admit that I have committed the crime. Okay, cut off my hands, I don’t know what to do.” This means that a person really feels that he is guilty of something and in order to solve the problem that tortures him he comes to confess.
This state can be revealed in spirituality at any moment not necessarily on Yom Kippur, which is celebrated in the month of September or the beginning of October every year. As a result of great internal work and self-searching a person looks into himself and sees what terrible frightening layers float up in his internal swamp.
He looks at it differently because in his daily life he always justifies himself and doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions. But now he looks at his internal attributes from an outer perspective, he sees that it is better to die than to try to justify himself.
This terrible state repeats itself in phases in people who want to ascend in their attainment to the levels of revealing the Creator. Each time they experience the recognition of evil, its full revelation, and then understand how to work with the ego, how to atone and correct it.
Why is this process called repentance? Because we can go back to the uncorrected desires along the time axis. We work with desires and not with actions, since the actions have already been done, revealed, and determined, like a photograph that is ready. We take all desires and attributes with which we performed the wrong actions and correct them. It is in them that we receive the new spiritual level.
It is impossible to ascend to any spiritual level without clarifying and revealing inside us the wild desires, without seeing what I went through in the wrong way, without seeing how many mistakes I have made and without being ready to burn with shame because of them. Gradually I begin to realize that I didn’t do them, but it was the Creator who intentionally tripped me, and I thank Him for that since by that He revealed the evil in me.
I ask for the the Light to influence this evil. The Light corrects my attributes and desires with which I have seemingly sinned, and I begin to work properly with my new corrected attributes. This is called repentance.
This means that I receive an answer to the question: “What have I done?” The reply is that the Creator intentionally arranged this for me so that I will go through all the states and appreciate the difference between my current state and the initial state that He created in me, as it says: “I have created the evil inclination, I have created the Torah as a spice.” Now I ask that the evil inclination be changed to the good inclination.
The potential difference between these two levels is the intensity of my new soul that has just been born. In it I reveal the Creator.
Yom Kippur ends when I reveal these attributes inside me without correcting them. Then I begin with what we call the left embrace, the right embrace and the beginning of my cooperation with the Light, which we call a spiritual coupling.
The Light begins to gradually improve me as it enters me and works on me by raising me to the level of Hanukah when I become dressed in Hafetz Hesed, i.e., I don’t want to work with my previous desires and attributes since I see that they are all harmful. I correct them from Hanukah until Purim so that the evil inclination will not remain neutral but will become good.
All the holidays mentioned above symbolize actions in a Kabbalist’s soul because he really corrects his desires and attributes and does it with the help of the wisdom of Kabbalah, the method of drawing the Light. Thus the wisdom of Kabbalah is called the inner part of the Torah or the Torah of the Light, since only the upper energy called Light can change our attributes. It is said that at the end of correction all the holidays will gradually disappear except for Purim, which symbolizes the end of the correction of the soul that is filled with the Upper Light and the appearance of the Creator inside me.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 3/12/14