The Torah, “Exodus” (Ki Tissa), 32:1: When the people saw that Moses was late in coming down from the mountain, the people gathered against Aaron, and they said to him: “Come on! Make us gods that will go before us, because this man Moses, who brought us up from the land of Egypt we don’t know what has become of him.”
It refers to a psychologically, philosophically dramatic situation that touches the deepest characteristics of a person. And this state returns on every level.
If I go forward correctly, then at every moment I experience a state like this where I seemingly understand where I am, my direction, locking myself onto the right goal, on the “Moses” in me. I made the right step and at the end of this step “Moses” suddenly disappears because I merge with him and he disappears within me.
How is it possible to go on? After all, I have no other signpost. How is it possible to get out of this unstable condition where I took the first step forward and I don’t know how to advance further? And so the next phase appears in me, Aaron.
Moses is faith, Aaron is knowledge, knowing. And I turn to the Aaron in me because I cannot turn to the property of bestowal and not to the property of love that has suddenly disappeared in me. In spiritual advancement all of our inner characteristics are changing all the time. They rise, descend, disappear, and pass through the point of bifurcation (splitting).
The state of ascent symbolizes the beginning of the next level, the birth, but like every embryo, I don’t know and don’t understand anything. I made very great efforts in order to be born, I developed a new level in my intrauterine process, and now that I have been born I don’t know anything.
So calmness is required here, the next relaxation where I surrender myself into someone’s invisible hands. I felt great pressure, anxiety, warmth, the fluid that surrounded me within the womb of the mother, which is the property of bestowal and love, and I didn’t think about anything besides belonging to this higher level. But now I must search for her. For the embryo is like a blind newborn kitten, constantly searching for something to bury itself in.
When the person loses this signpost, he doesn’t know what to do. He badly needs confidence, and it has to be his own, inner confidence, the acquisition of his anchor, his basis. Therefore he tries to find somewhere the basis that he lacks, and to hold onto it. And this is the “golden calf.” The “golden calf” embodies the knowledge that controls me and I agree with its control. For now I have tools in my hands, a healthy common sense, according to which I advance.
But advancement is based upon this, that all the time emptiness is created within me. I don’t know anything, I doubt, feel lost, make some kind of step, as though in the air, and only thanks to this am I ready to give this step to the Creator and not rely upon any solid and logical basis. The next degree distinguishes itself from the present degree by its height, and the height of the degree is faith.
It follows that our foot looks for ground, and that ground is faith. That is, I must “lift my foot” to a new faith, to bestowal and love, while in the meantime there is seemingly no reciprocity, no knowledge. And if I am completely ready to nullify myself, I will already be able to rise to a new level and acquire knowledge there.
After this I must raise the other foot, really hanging in the air, and advance without any proof and certainty, understanding, or clarity. This is a continuous process of attaining the Light in the four levels of HaVaYaH, the four-letter name of the Creator within us. That is how the ascent on the 125 levels of the spiritual ladder is carried out by “faith above reason.”
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 9/9/13