Baal HaSulam, “Introduction to The Study of the Ten Sefirot,” Item 130: They that are granted the sensation of His Providence in the form of the first degree of disclosure of the face, called “repentance from fear,” are considered medium. This is because their emotions are divided into two parts, called “two cups of the scales.” From the time before they were awarded the above repentance, all remain standing and are called “a scale of sin.” And the scale of merit is set and guaranteed to them from the moment of repentance onwards, the time of repentance stands “between” the merit and the sin, and hence they are called “medium.”
It isn’t about time periods but about the present reality. Upon reaching this level, a person discovers in his present attributes that he has partly sinned and partly merited. In other words, there are still uncorrected and corrected parts in him. The criterion here, of course, is the connection with others and with the Creator.
At the same time, a person is immersed in a state of Hafetz Hesed: He cannot do any evil to the other, but he hasn’t done any good to the other either. So it is as if he is in the middle of life, having neutralized the evil in him, but not turned it into goodness yet.
Question: Can we set the attainment of this “intermediate” state as our goal?
Answer: Why settle for half? You should imagine the state of the complete righteous. If you are asking for something, ask for the maximum: the end of correction. If you want to find yourself at the end of correction, you will barely succeed in reaching the next level. This is because at the moment, you cannot imagine more than its corrupt back side. This is the limit of your imagination because you have no other model. So go all the way, wish for maximum bestowal, and by that you will acquire the minimal similarity to the AHP of the upper one.
But if you only ask for half, this isn’t bestowal but pettiness. In bestowal there is no calculation for part of the whole. In bestowal you are looking for what else you can add, how to engage everything you can.
In this sense the spiritual laws are simple. I yearn for the end of correction, and I want all my desires and thoughts to be aimed at bestowal upon others. This is what I ask for. There cannot be half way in the attribute of bestowal. By demanding half, I am making an egoistic calculation and this isn’t bestowal anymore. After all, a secret bid for personal benefit is necessarily present in the “altruistic half” as well.
It is impossible to limit bestowal. Therefore, the course should always be set towards the final goal and not to intermediate phases.
In everything that we do, from this world to the world of Infinity, there are ten whole Sefirot, but in a minimized form. We are in a holographic picture, in which every part contains a whole. Therefore, a partial calculation isn’t right here. You have to do everything in your power, everything that depends on you, and then you may barely reach the next level.
You are now facing the AHP of the upper one, and this is the only thing you can imagine as something infinite. It is the same with small children who cannot take an example from a grown up. A five year old looks at an eight year old like at “God” and wants to be like him. There is something he can “hold on” to, it resonates within him. Rabash gave the same example of a girl who is more interested in playing with a doll than with a real baby.
So don’t try to minimize the goal to the “accepted” sizes. Even if you aim at the maximum, you will barely reach the upper one.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/1/2012, “Introduction to TES”