It is very hard to explain what spirituality is because it is a matter of feeling. If a person shares such feelings, he will understand what is being described. But if he is not on the same level and doesn’t feel what the author speaks about, he won’t understand anything at all.
All our work takes place in “Egypt,” in exile, when we don’t yet feel the Creator, the upper force that can help us rise above our desire to receive. This is a time of choice and it is the best time because this is when we learn how to work against our desire.
I have to constantly imagine that I am already in bestowal, in the spiritual world, in sanctity, and I do not create any partition, barrier, in the way of the upper Light that fills all of reality. I annul my personality, my egoistic “self,” and although I feel different states that go through me and summon different reactions in my ego, I have to try being only in pure bestowal.
It is as if I am already in the spiritual world, I’m immersed in a sea of Light by being totally equivalent to it. This is because everything that actually separates me from the Light is my desire to receive, my ego, which resembles a box that doesn’t let the light through. I put obstacles for myself, I’m the only one who stands out with his ego in the Light. Except for me everything is corrected and ready.
Only I see that this reality is distorted, that I’m corrupt, and that the Creator is evil and treats me badly. In addition, it seems to me that there is another authority besides the Creator.
All our work is to imagine our state correctly, the way it actually is, and not what is depicted in our ego. There is nothing except the Creator, but my ego tells me that there are many different forces that make decisions and there is also me.
It seems to me that I feel and decide something myself, but even this isn’t true. The Creator is the one who sends me all these feelings so that based on the impressions I receive from Him every instant, I will be able to do the work and to annul myself, my thoughts that I seemingly think and feel independently, that I receive something from the environment, the group, and the whole external world. Instead, I have to imagine that I am totally under the control of the upper Light that fills all of reality.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/2/2012, Shamati #59