Don’t Look for Love In This World

Don\'t Look for Love In This WorldA question I received: You said that men are polygamous by nature and are always looking for new sensations. In the past every man had several wives, and he would buy a new wife whenever he wanted one. There was no love involved in this, and sometimes men and women did not even know each other before being married. This is also the reason why men today cheat, get divorced, and find new wives.

On the other hand, you speak about spiritual marriage – man, woman, and the Shechina between them. How is it possible to attain the presence of the Creator between a man and a woman in the spiritual marriage if the modern man always needs new experiences with different women (today this is called cheating).

This is very painful and difficult to accept. Please help us, women, understand men’s behavior. Why is it so difficult for us to accept the fact that men are always attracted to other women? Do men do this because of some anomaly? Or is it just natural for them to constantly need new women, and it’s us, women, who are so uncorrected that we simply cannot understand their needs?

My Answer: This is the curse of egoism, which we fell into from the spiritual level. God said to the woman: “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” So my advice to you is: Don’t look for truth, justice, loyalty, and love in marital relationships. They aren’t there from the beginning, and they can’t be there – the Torah warns you of this. Quit trying to resolve the mess in the physical world, and instead aspire toward correction. As a result of it, your relationships will be corrected as well.

You have to understand that egoistic nature cannot be changed, and everyone suffers from it until they rise above it. You should transfer your worries from the corporeal level to the level where you realize “Why did the Creator do this?” It is in order to push you toward correction!

Related Material: Post: Polygamy – a Matter of Culture
Kabbalah Today Article: ” Man, Woman and the Snake Between Them”
Article: “Today It’s Spiritual Relationship or No Relationship”
Article: “The Spiritual Root of Cheating”


  1. Because I still aspire to possess the love of multiple women I know I’m not yet ready for it.

    Perhaps one day when I see the same Creator in all women, I may be given this glorious gift!

  2. I’m a woman and I aspire for the love of many men.

    Why is that?

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