“Why do we compare ourselves with anyone?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: Why do we compare ourselves with anyone?

We are made of a desire to enjoy, which enjoys at the expense of others. This is our human ego, and it gives us a sense of self by comparing ourselves with others. When we compare ourselves to others, we separate ourselves from them, and wish to be superior—to control and suppress them in various ways.

Such an inclination does not exist on the still, vegetative and animate degrees of nature, but only at the human level. Physically, we exist on the animate level, but our inner desire and inclination belongs to a higher degree called the “human” or “speaking.” At such a level, we wish to swallow the whole world.

Rocks, plants and animals, i.e. the still, vegetative and animate levels of nature, have no such desire to make others bow down to their commands as we humans do. We are the only ones who have such a problem. We waste our lives on it, wanting to fulfill this inclination and desire, and nature compels us to do so.

If we would not compare ourselves, then we would not feel as if we exist. We would feel like any animal, which lives in the moment and has no additional desires. We, however, contain a higher degree called “the evil inclination,” the human ego that compares itself to others and that desires its superiority. On one hand, it is called “evil,” but on the other hand, it pushes humanity to progress and try out different things—to realize that desire. We feel that we have to realize it otherwise we feel nonexistent.

Based on the video “Why Do We Compare Ourselves?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Nitzah Mazoz. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

Daily Kabbalah Lesson – 11/2/22

Preparation to the Lesson

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Writings of Rabash “Hear Our Voice”

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Writings of Baal HaSulam “Peace in the World”

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Selected Highlights

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Audio Version Of The Blog – 11/1/22

Listen to an Audio Version of the Blog
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“Nothing Frightens More than Losing Face” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “Nothing Frightens More than Losing Face

Of all our fears, probably the one that is the most intense is the fear of losing face, of being shamed. To most of us, our self-respect means more than anything else. If we lose it, we often prefer to die. No other species besides humans has it. Animals think only about leading their lives as physically comfortable as possible. If they meet a stronger animal, they retreat without a second thought, and certainly without embarrassment. We, on the other hand, might choose to confront those who are considered stronger than us in the hope that it will earn us respect, or because we are embarrassed to confess that we are weaker than someone else. The complications resulting from this respect-driven behavior are enormous.

However, for all the trouble the pursuit of honor causes us, it is also the engine of human development. Were it not for the yearning to supersede others, we would not develop civilization and would still be as savage as our ancestors who lived in caves or slept in trees for fear of being eaten by animals.

Take, for example, the 8-year-old boy who just climbed El Capitan together with his father. The cliff, a towering granite monolith about 3,000 feet (914 m) high in Yosemite National Park, California, is one of the world’s ultimate challenges for climbers. What drove his father to put him in such risk? The desire for fame, the pursuit of honor, as the father himself said, “What an amazing week! I’m so proud of Sam [the boy’s name].”

To many people, respect means more than their physical life. Evidently, in some cases, it means more than their children’s lives.

The farther we move from the animate level and into the human level, the more we value respect, and the less we mind our physical existence. We envy anyone and everyone who achieved something that we consider praiseworthy because we want the praise. Some people even envy famous people from many generations ago, such as great rulers or conquerors. Others wish to be the greatest of all time in their field and hope their achievements will outlive their physical life long after they are gone.

Yet, the yearning for respect is not inherently negative. There is a good purpose for everything, including the pursuit of respect. Chasing it, this pursuit makes us polish and improve our values and goals. It lifts us from physical desires to spiritual ones, and eventually drives us to relinquish our very nature because its self-centeredness seems dishonorable to us.

When that happens, and our own selfish pursuit of respect leads us to want to become unselfish, we realize that had it not been for the pursuit of honor, we would not have come to such a sublime and noble goal. As we polish and repolish our values, we come to realize that transcending the yearning for respect and concentrating on others rather than on ourselves is the most honorable, admirable, and worthy goal. A person who has come to this will no longer pursue respect and will avoid the complications that accompany this craving.

Moreover, such a person will be kind to others, and not in order to gain their respect, but because kindness itself is the quality most worthy of respect.

Society “plants” in our minds all kinds of ideas about what is respectful and what is not. Often, these ideas are detrimental to us or to others. One who has risen above the dependence on society’s respect will not be influenced by fleeting, negative ideas about what is respectful. That person will feel that submission to one’s own ego is the most dishonorable state there is, and caring for others is the most admirable. When doing the admirable thing becomes people’s motivation for action, the world will be a great place to live in.
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“What I Find in the Wisdom of Kabbalah” (Times of Israel)

Michael Laitman, On The Times of Israel: “What I Find in the Wisdom of Kabbalah

A couple of weeks ago, a journalist from the French women’s paper magazine Fémitude wrote me asking if I would be willing to answer a question for an article she was writing about the wisdom of Kabbalah. Her question was, “What Dr. Laitman is trying to discover through Kabbalah?”, adding that she intends to include my answer in her piece.

I was happy to answer her because I am very pleased that there is interest in the wisdom of Kabbalah in France, but even more so because it is a women’s magazine, and the increasingly prominent role that women are playing in society, much to my delight, makes it all the more important that they know what is Kabbalah and what it gives.

Over the years, there have been many myths about what is Kabbalah, and all kinds of myths and stories about magic and esoteric ideas have been attached to it. True, authentic Kabbalah has nothing to do with mysticism, magic, amulets, or anything of the kind.

The wisdom of Kabbalah studies natural, physical forces, just as Newton’s physics studies physical forces. The difference between the forces Newton studied and the forces that Kabbalah studies is that instruments cannot detect the forces that Kabbalah talks about. In order to study the forces that the wisdom of Kabbalah discusses, we need to change our very selves, our nature.

Our inherent nature focuses on self-interest. As a result, we see the world as separate elements locked in a struggle for survival. Kabbalah proves that in truth, there is no struggle; there is complementarity and mutual support. However, in order to discover this, we need to change our perception of the world from egocentric to holistic and inclusive. Otherwise, we will misinterpret everything we see, according to our egoistic minds.

Once we change ourselves, we find that the world consists not of elements that fight against each other for survival, as in the motto, “the survival of the fittest.” Rather, the forces of the universe balance and support one another. The battle exists only in our minds, but we cannot see this until we acquire a new perspective, as if shifting from a two-dimensional vision into a three-dimensional vision.

The wisdom of Kabbalah espouses caring for others, solidarity, and unity. It does so not only because it is nicer to live this way, although it certainly is. If this were the only motivation, we would be in a constant struggle against our nature, which constantly strives to return to narcissism. The wisdom of Kabbalah advocates pro-social, pro-humanity values because when we expand our vision and can see others, we see the actual reality and begin to perceive the forces that a self-centered mind cannot grasp. Once we discover how the world really works, we will never return to selfishness.

This is why I study Kabbalah: to change myself and to see the world as it really is. As part of my efforts, I also teach Kabbalah because once you realize the gift it gives those who study it, you cannot keep it to yourself, as nothing would be more selfish than keeping such a gemstone hidden from the world.

*To find out more about Kabbalah, please visit my website, my personal webpage, or our Kabbalah courses.
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From Spiritual Attainment

235Question: The Torah is written in the language of branches. For example, in the Torah the word “Egypt” (Mitzraim) means “concentration of evil” (Mitz Ra). That is, a Kabbalist feels the evil of his egoistic nature, but calls it Egypt. In our world there is such a country or, say, a place. This is clear.

But when a Kabbalist says such terms as “Keter, Hochma, Bina, Zeir Anpin,” there is no manifestation of such words in our world. Where are their branches?

Answer: Partly, they are manifested. In our world there are words like “Keter, Hochma, Bina,” although we use them in a completely different context. But there are also terms that are not used in our world. Kabbalists derived them from their spiritual attainment.

In other words, there are spiritual objects that do not manifest in the material world. And there are those that do manifest so we by seeing the branches can name them.

Comment: But if we can’t name them, then Kabbalists came up with all sorts of names, for example, “Ten Sefirot,” which actually do not mean anything?

Answer: This is not made up but derived out of their attainment. For example, why did they call the mountain in Jerusalem the Mount of Olives? Because they saw that it was suitable for planting olive trees on it. And so with the other words.

That is, if a person does not have spiritual attainment, he cannot research anything in Kabbalah.
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From KabTV’s “The Study of the Ten Sefirot (TES)” 10/16/22

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We Still Want To Get To the Next Cell

424.01Suppose you succeed in breaking the wall with your head. And what, then, will you do in the next cell? (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec)

Question: The author completely believes that we are in prison one way or another. We are constantly hitting and hitting a wall.

Answer: That’s right. The entire history of humanity is like this. But we still want to get to the next cell.

Question: I would like to believe that I am hammering away and somewhere I will break through a tunnel and come out into the light, but in fact, am I just trying to get into the next cell?

Answer: Yes. No tunnel leads anywhere because we are digging in the wrong direction. It is necessary to dig not into the next cell, but into yourself. We can dig into ourselves only if we agree on very serious mutual support, and we will really dig.

Then we will dig up a huge mountain of egoism. We can help each other climb it. Once we climb it, we will sit down and barbecue some kebabs. 😊

Question: What is on our skewers? What are we barbecuing? Is it our own egoism?

Answer: Yes. There are so many problems and scrutinies before we come to the correct state. It is because religions, philosophies, psychology, and everything around makes it all so foggy, even dark, that a person does not know which way to move. Any step can lead you around 360 degrees, in circles, but a thin line to the true state is anti–egoistic.

We must join hands and walk, and constantly annul ourselves, close our eyes, and obey the others. This is what we need to do together.

If we all do that, if we join our hands and hold on to each other, and although no one knows the way, but we hold on to each other and keep going, and every step we take forward is just to be closer to each other, in this case, we will get to the right place

Question: Then will then the tunnel be not from cell to cell, but toward the way out of prison?

Answer: Yes.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/27/21

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Conditions for Forming a New Person

630.2Very often people who are starting to study Kabbalah come with an approach to our world that now we will set up a system, it will start working, and everything will be fine. And then they are faced with the fact that this approach does not work here, and therefore they leave.

They rely on their brains and do not understand that spiritual attainment requires a new mind, new feelings, and a completely different human internality.

He must change the entire program in his “computer,” increase memory, increase speed, make a complete upgrade, and install a new program, then the person will completely change.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Victory Is a Sign of Defeat” 8/2/13

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Reincarnations—Attaining Your Soul

629.4Question: Does a person have the opportunity to learn about his past reincarnations? There is a lot of speculation on this topic and quite serious evidence that people seem to remember who they were in other incarnations. Is it possible?

Answer: No. As a rule, these are all far-fetched thoughts. But if a person really reveals the upper world, he absolutely clearly attains his soul, his cycle, where he is, what is happening to him.

Question: It is written in the book of the Prophets that at the end of days all bodies will rise. Is there such a thing as the “resurrection of the dead”? What is this about?

Answer: That in the end all souls will attain themselves and will be able to unite together into the one soul of Adam.

Question: Does it matter what actions a person performed in his past life and does it connect with his future cycle?

Answer: Of course there are certain connections and dependencies. But, in general, we cannot figure it out.
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From KabTV’s “Spiritual States” 10/9/22

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Secrets to a Happy Marriage

294.2Comment: Five married couples who have lived together for over 50 years shared their secrets for a happy relationship. Here is what each couple considers to be most important. Tell us what you think, please.

One 81-year-old couple, married for 57 years believe that the most important thing in a long and happy marriage is sharing responsibilities.

My Response: Of course.

Question: And what does sharing responsibilities entail? I am the breadwinner and my wife is a housewife taking care of the children?

Answer: That would be best.

Comment: Second is to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

My Response: Yes.

Question: Do you know your wife’s strengths and weaknesses?

Answer: I know them very well and I do not touch them. I am afraid to! In fact.

Question: Is this how it should be?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: Third is the ability to accept both sides.

My Response: Yes. You live with a person who is a whole system. It is a whole world through which you must see everything else.

Question: If this is how we live, tiptoeing around each other, then is it possible to be together for 60 or 70 years?

Answer: As long as you want.

Question: And you call this a happy marriage?

Answer: Only if we were brought up this way! Unfortunately, by the time we realize this, our life has gone by.

Question: Another couple aged 90 and 91-years-old who have been married for 66 years say it is essential to discuss their joint future and to have common interests. What do you think about discussing the future together? Is it important?

Answer: It is important because it is a joint future.

Question: Is that the key that it is not his or her future, but it is always us in it together?

Answer: Yes. We are going to have our children or grandchildren come to visit. Or we would go out, take a walk around the block, and so on.

Comment: As you said recently, when people get married, they say: “We are forever united together.”

My Response: They have to talk about it often.

Question: Is that what talking about a joint future is?

Answer: Yes. Because no matter what people do, they can live in different parts of the world, but they must share an understanding that they are united forever. Forever! Divorce is unacceptable when children are involved.

Question: And yet another couple that has been married for 61 years say that there should be a similar sense of humor. What do you think about that?

Answer: They must understand each other.

Question: Is this called understanding?

Answer: Yes. Because a sense of humor is very deep in a person. It distinguishes a person from an animal. Thus, if they have the same take on humor, it brings them much closer.

Question: A 99-year-old husband and 98-year-old wife married for 74 years say they love each other just like that and consider our union truly harmonious.

How do you feel about such views?

Answer: They have no deeper definition than “just like that.” This is a pretty high level. It is, indeed. When there is a real connection and feelings, you cannot describe it with anything.

Comment: And another couple married for 60 years say tolerance, loyalty to their vows, and being able to accept the other’s point of view are important.

Answer: This indicates they have not yet reached a real family if they believe it is necessary to be tolerant or faithful.

They still have these definitions before them and they must fulfill them. While a true connection requires none of this. You are already so glued to the other half that you cannot even tell where one ends or the other begins.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/17/22

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