Entries in the 'Children' Category

Crime And Punishment

278.02Question: Why is the entire system of our activities of daily living based on punishment? For example, the traffic rules are built in such a way that if a person crosses some line, he must be punished.

Answer: Our egoism does not understand anything in any other way. How else can it understand what is going on? If it is not punished, it will not know where its boundaries are and it will do what it can do to hurt itself even more.

Comment: But if we send people to prisons, they become even worse people there.

My Response: According to the Torah, there should be no prisons at all. There is no such punishment as a prison. Jews have never had them. All countries had different punishments, but the Jews did not. They only had compulsory re-education, not detention or deportation to remote places. That will not make things better. We can see it.

A person should not be isolated from society. If society can correct everything, then why isolate a person?! This is why we never had this. Only the nations who do not know the wisdom of Kabbalah and what is happening to humanity and to the world had this.

Question: How were people punished in Judaea before?

Answer: They were not punished! There were six cities of refuge in the country (Arei Miklat),where those who committed involuntary manslaughter could go to flee from revenge. In principle, no one was going to take revenge on them because people then lived according to spiritual laws.

In the cities of refuge everything was the same as in ordinary cities. There was what is called intense “brainwashing” meaning intense education conducted with them.

Question: Then, where did the prison as such come from?

Answer: For egoism, prison, in the literal sense of the word, is the easiest punishment that can be. We just get rid of a person. Basically, it is like death, but much sweeter.

Let’s say you would execute a criminal, but what is the use of it? Here, however, he is alone, gradually dying, realizing what you did to him. That is, society treats people with special cruelty.

Most importantly, prison is not correction. Therefore, there should not be such a condition. People come out of prison as even greater sinners and monsters than when they entered.

It is due to the fact that, on the one hand, they are released from prison according to their term of imprisonment, and not according to the willingness of a person to be in society. After all, what does the term of imprisonment matter? If a person has improved after a year, let him go back to freedom. If he has not improved in ten years, then do not release him in any case, he will only do harm. What does prison give? Well, he formally served his sentence. It is ugly, it is stupid, and it doesn’t make any sense.

Let’s say a judge passes a sentence, then what happens? If I was sentenced to jail, then the punishment should purify me, correct me in some way. If I came out after some time and did not correct myself, and did something again, then what do you want from me? Put the prosecutor and the judge in jail! They were the ones who gave me this kind of correction that did not work.

I am just a human being. It means that I was wrongly detained, sent away somewhere, and something was done to me. Wrongly! Therefore, those who ascribed this kind of punishment to me should be jailed. Punishment should be a correction! And there is none of it.

From the point of view of spiritual laws, our world is utterly small and completely irrational.

There should be no punishment, there should be correction. The punishment is that a person has committed a crime. This is his punishment. Now he must bring himself to a corrected level before himself, before society, before everything.

Question: Will the society of the future be a society without prisons?

Answer: Undoubtedly! Without any prisons. What is the point of keeping people in them if they do not correct a person?
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From the talk “I Got a Call. Crime and Punishment” 1/21/14

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“How To Really Prepare Children For Life” (Medium)


Medium published my new article “How to Really Prepare Children for Life

A new educational program in Israel proposes to prepare 12th graders for life. They will attend it during the final six months of their K12 years, and will teach them how to manage their finances and how to conduct themselves successfully in a changing job market. Preparing children for life is a great idea, but if you start it in the final six months of their attendance in the education system then a) you will not really prepare them for anything, and b) what have you been doing during the eleven and a half years prior to the final six months? To prepare a child for life, we must first prepare the parents for parenthood, and then prepare the children from the moment they are born.

When speaking about preparing for life, we must include all aspects of life. Financial education is only one aspect, and not the most important one. Children need knowledge in every aspect of life, but the most important aspect, and the one least taught, is human relations. We may excel in our field of expertise, we may make a lot of money and be affluent, but if we cannot communicate with other people positively and make them feel good around us, then we will not be happy.

Today, the most common medical condition is depression. Most other conditions, such as various addictions, violence, eating disorders, workaholism, and so forth, ultimately stem from depression that manifests through various symptoms. Currently, the common treatment for depression involves drugs. However, drugs do not cure depression, they only dull the pain. If, on the other hand, depressed people could form supportive and positive relationships, their depression would vanish as if it never existed, and without any medications.

Today, most adults do not know how to communicate with others positively. Hence, in order to teach children how to build positive relationships with others, grownups, too, must learn the craft.

It may sound naïve or unrealistic to think that people can relate to one another without malice in their hearts, but continuing to live as we have been living until now is not only unrealistic, it is also destroying our society and our planet, and poses a real risk that another world war will break out.

Therefore, even if we fail to make a positive connection, it does no harm to anyone if we make an effort. But if we do not make an effort and continue as we are, we will surely destroy ourselves and the planet we live on, and the future we will leave for our children will be very bleak. After the catastrophe, they will still have to learn to be on good terms with one another, so would it not be better if we learned this craft and taught it to our children while we are all still here?
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How To Talk To Children About War

627.2Comment: Many viewers, quite a number, are asking this question: “How do you talk to children about the war? How do we explain to them what’s going on?” How does one explain why they are bombing and why childhood has ended to those children who are hiding with their parents in bomb shelters and in the subway?” And other children whose childhood continues, those who do not hear sirens and explosions but see what is happening to their peers, ask why this is so.

And the main question is: How do you raise children at a time like this when wars, suffering, and tears are non-stop?

My Response: Children can understand because they also fight with each other. After all, egoism works from a very young age.

So there is nothing here that needs to be hidden from them. Indeed, if we don’t bring up children correctly, then, just like they play in childhood and want to take away from each other and become such bullies, so they continue in adulthood, and that is why we end up with war as a result. Grown men no longer have just shovels or sticks in their hands, now it is something serious. And that is when war begins.

So what should we do? While children are little like yourselves, remember, we tell children, we need to teach you, to bring you up to be able to talk to each other, to come to agree with each other, and to learn to compromise. Then you will not get to such terrible, big problems like these men who start these wars. That is what comes from the fact that in childhood they did not obey their mother.

Question: Do you think that a child will listen to that?

Answer: When he sees this very thing? He is extremely impressed.

Question: When he is under fire? Can he be told just like this?

Answer: Tell him exactly like this. Of course. This is true education. This is the basis of wartime education.

Question: So it’s not to dwell on “enemy,” “hatred,” or “against us”?

Answer: No, they will not understand it; they have no concept of it, no foundation. But when you explain in terms of childhood play and give and take, “when you wanted to take something, but he didn’t give it to you,” you can talk about everything.

Isn’t it how it really works? These games of oil and gas and all sorts of international relations, are they not the same children’s games?

Comment: It has turned into something dangerous.

My Response: Yes, because they didn’t stop it in time or couldn’t explain it in time. So this is how it turned out. Because in childhood they could not explain to understand that it is never necessary to resolve disputes by force. Can you convince the others? If yes, great. If not, compromise.

Question: Should the child understand that disputes are not resolved by force?

Answer: They can’t be resolved by force; otherwise, we will destroy each other. Can you imagine it in the modern world?

Question: How are disputes resolved? What should the child we are raising understand? How do you explain to a child how to resolve disputes?

Answer: Only by persuasion, when you do not force another person to peace, but when you explain to each other how you can come to peace together, with mutual concessions, and not with the approach of “I am right and you are wrong, and now you will understand it.”

Comment: Now you have said a very serious thing, that a child should be able to compromise.

My Response: Of course! This is the most important thing in education. Otherwise what is all the education for? To teach how to hit first? To hit stronger? Or better? It is for the sake of being able to stop and compromise.

Comment: This is the most difficult thing, for children especially.

My Response: Of course. Because they have exposed egoism, small, but revealed.

Question: So you propose to teach concessions, to teach a child so he can yield to others?

Answer: Everything needs to be explained. And then sit in a circle and conduct practical exercises.

Comment: If there is an argument, let’s sort it out? How can we not fight but make peace. This is such a long system…

My Response: Otherwise it will take even longer.

Question: Can this be explained to children who are under fire?

Answer: To everyone! It all depends on the words, vocabulary, and expressions you use. You are explaining this to the ego, which is the same in a small child as it is in a grown-up man, it is the same egoism.

Comment: The main problem here is to train teachers, prepare those who can teach what it means to come to peace, and what annulment means.

My Response: Yes, this is the most important.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/3/22

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Raising A New Man

229Question: Current statistics show that in the near future a very large percentage of the population will be unemployed. What will happen if these masses of people do not know about the purpose of creation?

Answer: We will make them study. When a person begins to learn, listen, speak about, and discuss the topics of exploring and mastering the next, higher level of one’s existence, he brings about a great correction to the world.

Seven billion people don’t need to work twelve hours a day. Half a billion is enough to provide for us all, to feed us, etc.

Evenly distributing responsibilities for a reasonable level of sustenance would allow everyone to be fed, clothed, and provided with optimal living conditions. The rest of the time, say five or six hours a day, they will engage in internal self-improvement via television and the rest of the mass media channels.

It is necessary for a person to truly rise to a new degree. Meaning, this is our job, not producing unnecessary trinkets, but rising to the level of eternity and perfection and becoming equal with nature and harmoniously connected with it.

Everyone must take part in this. This is the reason there will be so much free time. A person is obliged to spend half of his working hours on his inner spiritual development. To do this we have to establish a massive educational system—virtual, full-time, part-time, no matter what.

It is necessary to bring up the new person who will become Adam, similar to the Creator.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Partnership Agreement” 4/7/10

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“The Israeli Education System Is Imploding” (Times Of Israel)

Michael Laitman, On The Times of Israel: “The Israeli Education System Is Imploding

Ayala Moshe, a student of mine, has been a school teacher in Israel for the past fifteen years. This year, she gave up. The audacity of students, the poor salaries, the disrespect and rudeness of parents, and the physical assaults have become too much. “I have been slapped, thrown down the stairs by students, and had to watch security camera footage showing me being thrown, when I had to defend myself in court for being a victim of an assault.”

Ayala is just one of thousands of teachers all over Israel who have had enough. According to a special report by the Israel Central Bureau of Statistics, thirteen percent of the teachers quit within their first year on the job. Within five years, a quarter of the teachers will be looking for a new occupation. Worse yet, the higher a teacher’s education, the more likely he or she is to leave in search of a more rewarding career. Clearly, the education system is imploding.

If I were asked what to recommend, I would advise them all to quit, every single teacher. This may be the only move that will make parents realize that education cannot be taken lightly. The education system should be the most important system in the country, and so should be the status of the teachers. We cannot throw the responsibility for the upbringing of our children on the laps of teachers who are not equipped or meant to handle it, who face mounting pressure from conflicting sources, receive an embarrassing salary, then face public scolding and derision left and right for their poor achievements. Parents must be held accountable for the behavior of their children, and they must take part in mending it.

If the system is already crumbling, it is time for parents and teachers to put their heads together, envision the kind of country and society they want to see, and design a plan to make it happen. A situation where neither parents nor teachers can bring up children to be human beings, where no one knows what values children absorb from dubious sources online and elsewhere, that situation is intolerable.

Currently, children go to school to be force-fed knowledge they neither care about nor need for life. They hate it, and therefore hate the people who feed it to them. Given the growing intolerance in society, it is no wonder that some of them turn violent.

Instead of memorizing material, they should first of all learn how to relate to one another. Afterwards, they need to learn how to learn, since they will be learning their entire lives, and finally, they need to learn how to cooperate in teams that learn together and achieve together.

In the real world, there are no individuals. Everything is achieved in teams and through cooperation with other teams. If people leave school without having learned to be good teammates, then they have been brought up to be misfits. In such a state, they will either adapt to a reality for which school did not prepare them, or they will not be able to make a proper living. Social skills are therefore vital for success in today’s world, and virtually no school teaches them.

Social skills are critical not only at work. They are the basis of every relationship—with the significant other, with the children, at work, and even with pets. If you let a person grow from infancy to adulthood without providing social skills, then you have crippled that person for life.

Now that the education system is collapsing, there is an opportunity to build it right, and our entire society will reap the benefits.
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New Generation Workers

269Comment: The large numbers of people becoming unemployed should be provided with necessary income. You said this 20 years ago. Today, it is discussed more and more.

Meaning, today’s global productivity is great enough to provide everyone with necessary food, clothing, and shelter without having to work. You suggest putting these people in classrooms for them to study something.

My Response: Not just to study. I propose making these people workers of a new generation so that they can transform their egoism into altruism with the help of a special study. This is the most inner work a person can do in one’s life in this world.

If we start this, we will see firsthand how our world will change. We will bring a positive force, energy, and direction that is lacking now. This force can only come from man, since he is the only bearer of evil or possible good. It will lead to massive positive changes in the world. This is as stated by Kabbalah as well as myself personally.

Question: Can regular classes, in accordance with a special methodology, really accomplish this? Is it just reading or working with teachers?

Answer: It involves people working on themselves and between themselves. Nothing else is needed.

It is better for us to start this early rather than to wait until the world is completely drained, falling into all sorts of problematic states, and descending into wars that are now quite feasible.
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From KabTV’s “Virtual World” 2/9/22

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Justice Of The Future

265Question: In the article “The Last Generation,” Baal HaSulam touched upon the topic of justice in the future. I am interested in your opinion on this. I would like to know: will there be justice in the future generation?

Answer: In the future, a person will judge himself by knowing and understanding how to carry out this judgment upon himself. Everything will exist only for the sake of the common, collective good. And the so-called courts will help everyone rise above themselves and connect with each other and with the Creator.

They will allow each one to see at what level he is, what he has yet to correct, and which connections with others can lead to his correction.

Question: If the motivation of a person living in the last generation is to feel closeness to the Creator, to the quality of bestowal, and to become like Him in qualities, then can it happen that it is the respect he receives from society that will fuel him and not the very merging with the Creator?

Answer: It is basically the same thing.

Question: It turns out that I work for respect from society?

Answer: No, that is an absolutely egoistic reward. What is meant here is quite different.

I work for the society and I am ready to do anything for it. But in order to give my egoism the energy to work, I need to get fuel from this society. Therefore, I do everything I can to get a reward from it. And the reward is to receive energy from it so that I can give everything to society beyond my egoism.

Question: It turns out that the courts should not judge but educate a person?

Answer: Of course. They should engage in his spiritual advancement and create the right intention in a person.

Question: Do you think this will happen in the future?

Answer: This can happen even today. Let’s hope so.
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From KabTV’s “Spiritual States” 1/11/22

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“Children, Imagination, And Creativity” (Medium)


Medium published my new article “Children, Imagination, and Creativity

When children watch a movie, they are glued to the screen. Children are naturally imaginative; they “live” what they see. They do not distinguish between fantasy and reality as adults do. Their imagination can take them anywhere — to the most wonderful places or to places that will leave them traumatized. It is therefore our responsibility to see that they go to good places.

After children watch a movie, we can often see how deeply it impresses them. We can find the body language, tone of voice, and phrases of the characters they watched spontaneously reflected in the children. These are not only transient impressions, but influences that shape their entire worldview and have a significant impact on their future.

Because children naturally learn by example and perceive what they see on the screen as reality, they perceive the events in the movie as examples of real life. As a result, they will try to imitate in real life the behavior and attitude of the protagonists they saw in the film.

Consequently, if we want our children to grow up sound in mind and mentally capable, we should expose them to entertainment that provides them with the right examples. There are several things we need to consider when it comes to giving children the right examples.

First, children’s movies should feature realistic characters, not mutants or distorted characters of any kind. For example, if animals do not talk like humans, they should not do so in children’s movies. Talking animals may be good entertainment for us, but they distort children’s perception of reality.

Second, a good film should neither preach nor frighten. On the contrary, it should enthrall the children and take them on a journey that will instill in them a positive attitude toward themselves, their friends and family, and toward the environment. The thinking should be this: Good social connections produce good results. When we work together, give, love, share, and care, we can change anything for the better.

Third, we should prepare children prior to watching a movie, and talk to them afterwards. Preparing and concluding together will help them process the messages correctly and they will make the most of the experience.

Finally, it would be a good idea to give them an assignment, preferably to a group of children such as siblings or classmates. The assignment should go something like this: On a clean sheet of paper, draw a new, perfect world or a perfect city. Depict the relationships between people, where and how they build their houses, what schools, parks, and stores look like, and everything else that is part of their lives.

Afterwards, have a serious discussion about their assignment; there is much to learn from it. At the end of the project, you can take the children to see professionals and ask them about their work. For example, ask teachers how they see their jobs, how police officers feel about the relationship between them and civilians, how architects make decisions about various aspects of the houses they design and how these decisions affect the lives of the people who live in them, etc.

As William Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” It is up to us to determine whether our children watch horror movies or cheerful ones. To a great extent, this will determine if they grow up thinking that life is a nightmare or a wonderful adventure.
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“The Bully Is A Victim, Too” (Linkedin)


My new article on Linkedin “The Bully Is a Victim, Too

One of the most painful, yet often undetected social phenomena among children is ostracism. Usually, it happens when a leader in a social group, such as a class or a sports team, picks a child as a target for exclusion and turns the rest of the group against the victim. To the child, it is a horrific experience that can scar a young soul for life. Worse yet, a bully who behaves this way feels emboldened by it and is therefore likely to repeat it either toward the victim or toward other children. To cure this social ailment, we need to understand why bullies behave this way and how we can help them adopt more positive patterns of behavior.

Bullies target children they perceive as weak, who do not stand up to them, or who are socially isolated. The bully’s goal is not so much to make the victim feel bad, as it is to make the bully feel good about himself or herself.

Often, bullies come from homes where they feel insecure. They may be suffering from physical or emotional abuse and feel trampled on at home. To compensate for their sense of inferiority at home, they need to feel superior elsewhere, and that other place is likely to be school or a sports team, or any social setting where the bully participates.

Compared to other forms of bullying, the problem with exclusion is that the bully “recruits” the rest of the group to gang up on the victim, leaving the victim socially isolated and without emotional support. For a child, such a situation can be devastating.

To tackle the phenomenon, it is not enough to punish the bully. A punishment might stop the bully from continuing to harass the victim for whom he or she was punished, but it will not stop the bully from looking for other victims because the need to bully will continue. Worse yet, it might make the intimidator continue to bully, but in more stealthy and sinister ways.

Therefore, it is essential to understand why the bully behaves this way, and provide the compensation for the lack that the bully needs in more constructive ways. Instead of the bully seeking compensation by him or herself, the society should offer the compensation in a manner that fills the bully’s emotional deficiency and does not hurt others.

Human nature requires us to feel good about ourselves. If there is a place where we feel inferior, we will not rest until we compensate for it. Therefore, if a person feels loved and supported, he or she will never feel inferior, and will therefore not wish to make others feel unloved or excluded.

The solution to the problem of bullying, therefore, and especially that of ostracism, lies in the hands of society—to create a warm and loving environment for all the children where they can grow and express their unique qualities in a socially-constructive manner, for the benefit of all of society.

If children work together on projects that require everyone’s skills, they will learn to rely on each other, trust each other, and delight in each other’s talents. Most importantly, they will come to care for one another. Instead of envy, their sense of interdependence will bring them to support each other as each child’s unique abilities benefit the entire group. When all the children cooperate in this manner, they form a harmonious society where each individual is fully satisfied and at the same time cares for the rest of all the members of the group.
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“How Can We Help Disabled Children?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: How can we help disabled children?

School trips are no ordinary experience for 12-year-old Mayan Hanan, who has a rare disease that makes him struggle with severe pain during long walks. His class arranged a special wheelchair capable of navigating through the varied terrains. Mayan shared: “On this trip I felt that I’m like everyone else and that I’m equal among equals. Everyone really made a big effort for me.”

Such is an example that what helps a child with a disability is to support them, participate with them, and identify with them.

To identify with them means to understand their suffering, to accept them as equal and to wish for us to live and participate in everything together. And participation means sharing everything that we have 50-50.

How can we share the disability of another person? We can take half of their disability by adding our strength to theirs. And the disabled person supports the able-bodied person by providing an opportunity to help and feel that they contribute.

What exactly does a disabled person give us? This is the crux of the matter. It seems to us that the able-bodied person gives to a disabled person only because we fail to understand how much the disabled person gives. Participation gives us an opportunity to connect and to act together.

What is the correct attitude toward people with disabilities? For the able-bodied, it is a call from the general forces of nature that we need to take these supposedly disabled persons into our society, take care of them, and bring them to a state where they feel no disability at all. It depends only on our correct attitude toward such people: that there is no disability and that we are equal in everything in life.

How are we equal? We are equal in that we share all good and bad things among us equally. When we reach these feelings, even if only a little bit, then we will feel ourselves in a different state. We will be in a different world, one of true equality, which is worthwhile to live in.

Based on the video “Disability Equality from a Kabbalist’s Perspective” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Oren Levi. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.