Comment: There is growing demand for surrogacy volunteers around the world. In recent years, Canada has become increasingly attractive to future parents who are looking for altruistic surrogate mothers.
In Canada growth in these services has reached 400% over the past ten years.
The mothers themselves, who provide services on a pro bono basis, have their own families, many children, and they say that surrogacy is a life-changing experience. This may partly explain why women sacrifice their time and potentially their bodies for this.
They say: “I cannot imagine life without children, even as a surrogate mother. It is like bringing light back to the world. I give birth to a child for these people, but I also leave my mark on the world.”
My Response: This is a huge service for people who love each other but cannot have children otherwise. Of course, this is a huge favor.
Question: What is the connection between a child, a surrogate mother, and a biological mother? Who is the mother in the end?
Answer: A mother is the one who raises the child. A mother is the one the child follows; she is the one who takes care of him, the one to whom he feels affection and need, etc.
Question: What is an ideal mother?
Answer: One who knows how to raise him correctly is an ideal mother.
Question: What should a mother invest in a child? What should she pass on so that he grows up as a harmonious person?
Answer: First of all, it is love, responsibility, and of course, self-sacrifice. In addition, this is work on oneself; this is the knowledge of what to prepare the child for, how to teach him, how to get him on his feet, and how to accompany him in the first years of life, how to properly increase his independence every year, to each time step back a little so that he grows, and not to suppress him.
A wise woman is needed who can position herself in such a way that the child will feel good and warm next to her. And at the same time he will understand that his mother is taking care of him correctly, that is, adjusting her love with her demands.
Comment: Nowadays many people hire nannies who come to look after children and spend more time with them than their own parents. A very close connection arises between the child and the nanny; he grows up under her care within the framework of her upbringing, and thus fences himself off from his parents a little.
My Response: It all depends on how the environment the child grows in is organized. But it does not necessarily have to be that his mother sits over him all the time, or constantly revolves around him. On the contrary, this can spoil the child.
Comment: We are now moving toward some new model of the world where we have all the services for rent. Everyone buys in the “supermarket:” mom for rent, dad for rent, grandpa for rent. The child grows up in a certain society of those “products” that the parent has bought in the “supermarket.”
My Response: Personally, I do not see any problems in this, since in any case it is all for rent; it only depends on how we pay for it, and how obvious it is to us or not. It is clear that if I pay attention to my son, it is because I am his father.
And here too there is a problem: how much I love him and how much I should make an effort, versus being strict and demanding. There is a father, and there is an educator. These are different functions. Therefore it is difficult to replace a father, although it is also possible. But this is a completely different profession than a teacher, lecturer, or educator.
And the same with a mother. A mother can be nurturing, warm, and caring or demanding and instructing.
These are different functions.
We study this from spiritual objects. We have a spiritual father and mother, which are divided into two parts: father, the upper and lower system, and mother, the upper and lower system. All four systems influence the child, and this is where their functions are divided. This is a very interesting, complex system.
How do the father and mother influence with their upper properties and lower properties? Or how do they replace themselves with other people who must fulfill these upper and lower properties from both father and mother and in no case confuse them with each other. This is what is called Aba ve-Ima and Israel Saba ve-Tvuna. These are very serious, large spiritual objects, and all four are aimed at the development and education of the soul.
Question: How can a person attach to these components called father and mother?
Answer: In the spiritual, we cancel ourselves, and to this extent all four spiritual objects educate us. And in our world, they simply must be created in this way and function in relation to the child. Humanity has yet to discover and build this, to create such a system of servicing children.
But for now, I am very glad that there are such surrogate mothers, women who can provide this service to those couples who for some reason cannot have children.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/28/19
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