Michael Laitman, On Quora: “How can the high divorce rates of USA be reduced?“

In order to reduce the divorce rate and ensure that married couples rise above any argument, conflict, and crisis, we need to revise the way we are educated and influenced.

As we grow up, we need to learn what it means to live as members of a happy family, how to run our family life optimally, and how to overcome any kinds of conflicts that arise.

The key principle to successfully running a family can be found in the Bible story about our creation—that one man was originally created and then divided into two. How, then, can two separate beings connect as one? The answer is in mutual concession.

Each partner should know that they can each achieve much more in life if they are positively connected, and that a solitary life would be a lot tougher.

Concession involves conceding our egos to our spouses. Our egos are our desires to personally benefit at the expense of others. Therefore, by conceding our egos, we undergo corrections of this ego, and acquire a positive form of love, bestowal and connection in its place. Our egos then become impulses that help us positively connect. That is, when we recognize our egos rejecting the tendency to connect, precisely at such points we can exercise our concessions and develop loftier qualities of love and bestowal upon our egoistic drives.

By doing so, we advance faster and more consciously to our life’s purpose: to become a human being in the fullest sense of the term, i.e., where “human” (“Adam”) comes from the phrase “similar to the most high” (“Adameh le Elyon”) in Kabbalah, or in other words, resemblance to the Creator—the quality of love, bestowal and connection that fills the entirety of reality outside of us. By acquiring such a quality, we enter into the state of eternity and perfection.

Therefore, in order for marriage to work, we should apply a higher goal to the marriage: that it serves as a kind of laboratory in order to exercise our relations of love, bestowal and positive connection above all the arguments, conflicts, and crises that surface.

Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Spiritual work depends on how we create a group, how we manage ourselves in it, and how we change all kinds of connections and integrations in the group. To this extent we, like in a lab, begin to feel the influence of the Creator on us, sometimes more sometimes less, sometimes closer and sometimes further away, etc.

All our groups around the world can already arrange these conditions between them so that they can study the Creator. To the extent that they get closer, expand, or feel distant from each other, they begin to feel Him.

The Creator is simply the general force, and we are the ones who can feel Him and change internally. Internally means in the group, in the connection between us, which is where the Creator is attained.

This is the reason that we always aspire to create groups and to unite in them according to the advice of our teacher, the Kabbalist Rabash. If we work this way, we will begin to feel the revelation of the Creator inside us to the extent that we get closer to each other or further away from each other, even artificially. And then we attain experience of how we can work with Him.

This is a very interesting action called spiritual work. By performing this action, we can reach the attribute in which the Creator will fill us. Once we are filled by the Creator, we will feel the next levels of creation, above our world.

Today we are also filled with the Creator, but at the lowest, animal level. Therefore, this level does not give us the feeling of eternity, perfection, knowledge. Since we are all created by the Creator in the same way, as as people who are similar to each other and somehow connected to each other, but precisely because of the Creator, we do not feel this unity and the Creator in it.

But as soon as we ourselves become more united with each other, we will immediately begin to feel Him. Therefore, the next levels, which depend on our greater unification, will manifest in us as knowledge.
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From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 12/22/19

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Lesson on the Topic of “Prayer” 

Selected Highlights

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Envy is a very powerful and important tool in spiritual advancement. It is obvious that in our world it is impossible to advance without envy.

A person looks at others and envies not only people, but even animals. One wants to fly like a bird and swim like a fish in the sea. We must first see an example from the outside, and then our egoism will also light up to acquire the same abilities.

The more developed the egoism is in a person or in a nation, the more it is envious and capable of development.

Envy is a special quality that forces us to desire not what we really lack, but what we see in others. It helps us imagine how nice it would be if we got the same thing that our neighbor has. I’m jealous of what the other person has, and I start to miss it too. And so there is no advancement without envy.

It is very important to use envy now before the big congress because in order to increase our desire, to ignite the desire to achieve a high goal, we need to adopt each other’s desires and combine them together. This requires envy, which is peculiar only to man. Animals are almost not familiar with envy, and even more so with plants or inanimate nature. Only at a certain stage of development does the desire to enjoy begin to feel what the neighbor has. And even if I personally have no need to have the same thing that the other has, if I see how he enjoys, my egoism also lights up to get it and enjoy it.

Usually, the higher the development, the greater the ability to envy, which helps to faster development. Therefore, if we see that we do not have enough desire to advance to the goal of creation and realize our purpose in life, to correct our soul, then we need to turn to society, as it is said: “They helped every one his friend.” Everyone can show others an example to be envied and increase one’s limited desire.

Envy in Kabbalah is a good quality, not an evil one. Therefore, everyone should give others a reason for envy, due to which the desire to enjoy will grow and allow us to achieve a high goal faster. Being jealous of my friend, I do not want to belittle him in any way so that he also would not have what I do not have. I am happy to adopt from him additional desires and actions.

Envy used to lead to wars. But we need to learn how to use envy properly so that instead of fighting with each other, we can fight to rise above envy and move toward a common goal.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/15/21, “Envy”

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Filed under: Daily Kabbalah Lesson, Spiritual Work | Add Comment / Ask Question →

My new article on Linkedin “Envy – When the Engine of Growth Becomes the Agent of Destruction”

When we are little, we grow by looking at others and imitating them. We don’t want to harm them or deny their desirable traits or possessions, but rather to have what they have and do what they do. This is healthy envy; it develops us and drives us forward. When we begin to want to have more than others, control others, or deny others what they have, this is when envy, the engine of growth, becomes the agent of destruction.

Envy that is attached to a desire to destroy others is the egoism that is destroying us. Throughout history, countries have been competing with each other, driven by this ruinous force, and have wrought pain and anguish on each other out of their desire to be at the top of the world.

We cannot uproot this force; it is inherent in our nature. What we can and should do is harness it the same way children use it to develop themselves.

In order to learn how to use it constructively, we first have to realize that when we maim or harm others, we are harming ourselves. We have to come to feel the truth of our interconnectedness, that we are all parts of a single system, a mechanism whose units are perfectly intertwined and balanced. It is like a complicated machine with billions of pieces, all necessary for the smooth operation of the machine. When you maim one unit, you have maimed the entire machine, of which you yourself are a part.

Think of the human body. There are approximately 10 trillion cells in the human body. These are organized into numerous tissues, organs, and organ systems. Can you imagine what would happen if these tissues and organs turned against each other? This is exactly what we have been doing to each other every day for thousands of years. Is it a wonder that the world we live in can barely sustain us?

My teacher’s father, the great 20th century Kabbalist Baal HaSulam, wrote extensively about the need to send people back to school and reeducate them. He meant that we should learn how to work with our egos. At the moment, we use the knowledge that we have to harm others, and in so doing, we harm ourselves. The coronavirus is just the first example of the type of global blows that will become increasingly frequent until we realize that we cannot harm others since it hurts us, too. Our ruinous envy of our neighbors on the personal, social, and international levels is destroying us. We must reeducate ourselves and cater to our envy only when it motivates us to grow, but not at the expense of others. This is what Baal HaSulam meant when he wrote that we must go back to school.

Education seems like a slow and gradual process, but there are shortcuts we can take. Because we’re all connected, parts of one machine, when we contemplate a notion, others begin to contemplate it, too, even if they don’t hear it from us. When we convey that thought to others, we convey it far beyond the people we communicate with, as the idea begins to spread throughout the human web, throughout the system. Merely thinking about our interdependence and the need to stop our ruinous envy sends ripples through the system that generate that thought in others, too. All of a sudden, people will start talking about it, as if it is their own idea. They won’t know it, but it will have come from you. When we learn how to work with envy constructively, then our path to success is paved.
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My new article on Linkedin “The Healing Force in Physicians Hands”

When I see the tremendous pressure that medical teams are under in the COVID-19 fight, I am filled with great sympathy. I know the world of physicians closely. My parents were doctors, and I too started my studies in medicine but very quickly left because I realized it was not for me. Instead, I switched to medical bio-cybernetics, my first profession.

The fate of every patient, every health team, and all of mankind depends on the revelation of the healing force of unity between us.

So who am I to turn and speak to doctors and nurses when they need to deal with decisions that may make the difference between life and death on a daily basis? They know how to cooperate and work together as knowledgeable experts treating their patients. However, too often now, they find themselves helpless to deal with the situations they face.

The year of the coronavirus has put extreme pressure on the health care system. Morbidity is rampant, mutations erupt at an alarming rate, and the vaccination campaign is at its peak. In this demanding scenario the medical teams are on the front lines of the battle. They have had to adapt to rapidly-changing conditions and new challenges as they strive to save human lives—all of this while covered head to toe in cumbersome, hot, protective suits and learning to read facial expressions through masks. The circumstances are unparalleled.

In this unprecedented situation, there is one recommendation for overwhelmed medical teams: Connect between yourselves more, not just in a professional connection or a temporary closeness forced by the plague, but with an earnest and deep connection. This will produce great positive forces. Medical professionals will receive the much needed fuel that will motivate them to work harder in times of fatigue and to rise to the task in spite of worsening situations.

When I speak of connection, I am not referring to ordinary mechanical cooperation. I speak of a continuous warm connection characterized by interdependence, support, and mutual recognition at work.

Certainly, these emotional efforts to connect require a great deal of inner energy because they demand care and consideration for others, which are unnatural for the human ego. But it is precisely these efforts that generate the strength and vigor that will reduce stress and bring the team to a common sensation of feeling each other without words, and the ability to identify together their next joint action.

A subtle internal tendency to connect will turn the team into an integrated unit with a spirit of one for all and all for one. Each member will seek to complete the other, to fill any possible void or concern, to be a guarantor for the other, and to open up their heart.

This sensation of perfect collaboration will crystallize their desires into one finely focused will aimed toward an indivisible unity that embraces every teammate.

This deep connection will recharge team energy and draw a special power to the medical staff from the force of nature, a power which is available when people unite. This is the force that fills the entire universe. It will not only strengthen the team, but will also help patients heal physically and emotionally. Both the healers and the healed will experience great benefit and satisfaction.

And even when conflicts, disputes, and outbursts erupt in their relationships—and such situations are expected and worthwhile—they are nothing more than a call to gather and talk for a few minutes, open a fresh page, and reconnect to their common goal to warm their hearts. Such moments are the time for reminding each other that everything that happens comes from a supreme source in order to reveal the sickness of hatred and ruthless competition between us that needs curing.

Thus, every predicament and ailment should be seen as an opportunity for connection, a place to overcome our difficulties in order to acquire greater strength together. The fate of every patient, every health team, and all of mankind depends on the revelation of the healing force of unity between us.
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My new article on Linkedin “Medicine as Nature Would Have It”

A few days ago, an Israeli doctor wrote that after more than 20 years of practicing medicine, he finds himself too many times having to say he doesn’t know. He says Covid has upended everything in his profession, and he and many of his colleagues find themselves clueless all too often.

If we want to become healthy, we must heal our social attitude. This will heal our society, which, in turn, will heal our bodies, and the world will be a healthy, happy place to live in.

It seems as though reality is catching up with us in every aspect of our lives. Everything we’ve put on a pedestal is crumbling, including, if not first and foremost, modern medicine. We’ve turned being healthy into a business, and in business, money matters, and not people.

Worse yet, in the past year, the struggle against Covid-19 has become a political power struggle, and decisions that cost lives and livelihoods of millions cater to party interests rather than to the interest of the people. As with everything else, Covid has exposed our nature, and it is not pretty.

We have forgotten that in the end, the human body is that of an animal. Just as animals get their healing from nature, so could we, if we only stayed attentive to our nature. Instead of an attitude of cutting open, replacing, and stitching back, we could have known how to maintain our health and how to heal ourselves easily and quickly when we need it. But being healthy isn’t lucrative, so we are taught to stop listening to ourselves and we become ill.

I am not advocating veganism; I am simply pointing out that we have become deaf to the natural needs of our body, which, by the way, are very few and cost almost nothing. If we were more attentive, we would know what plants are good for what problem, and how to keep ourselves more generally healthy.

We are living within nature; nature has engendered us, sustains us, yet when it comes to our health, we have no clue how to use it to maintain or regain our health. It is as if we’ve cut off the umbilical cord that nourished us, and now we’re trying to survive disconnected from our nurturing mother.

Sadly, where our disconnection is most apparent is with each other. We have not only disconnected from nature; we have, first and foremost, disconnected from each other. We are suffering from moral narcissism—thinking about how our actions make us feel about ourselves rather about their consequences for others. Just as we treat every organ in our body as though it is a standalone system, we treat ourselves as standalone individuals, regardless of the society we live in. The same approach that sickens our society sickens our bodies; we are ill from within and from without.

So reconnecting to nature means reconnecting to every thing and every one, feeling that we are all parts of one system, which tends to all its parts, including us. But it does so only if we, too, tend to it. If we want to become healthy, we must heal our social attitude. This will heal our society, which, in turn, will heal our bodies, and the world will be a healthy, happy place to live in.

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My new article on Linkedin “Shaming Offenders Achieves the Opposite Result”

Recently, there has been an initiative to show the names and faces of murderers and sex offenders on billboards in Israel in order to shame them. Raising awareness to crime is great, but giving notoriety to criminals will achieve the exact opposite of the intended goal: It will make them proud of what they did and will inspire other potential offenders to act.

Because our society is growing increasingly narcissistic, and narcissism, as Time magazine correctly observed, is a leading cause of such actions, we must deal with the narcissism in society, if we are to prevent future perpetrators from acting. To do that, we must foster social solidarity.

Steve Chapman of the Chicago Tribune wrote in a piece titled “Deprive mass murderers of the fame they seek,” that “The more their names are known, the more likely they are to inspire imitators pursuing similar recognition. A 26-year-old man who killed nine people on a college campus in Oregon in 2015 had previously written of another killer, ‘A man who was known by no one, is now known by everyone. … Seems the more people you kill, the more you’re in the limelight.’”

Time magazine also wrote about the problem with giving notoriety to criminals, focusing on how criminals use social media to gain fame by hurting other people. In a piece titled “Why Facebook Live Tempts Fame-Seeking Criminals, Adam Lankford wrote, “According to Pew Research Center surveys, 51% of Americans aged 18–25 say that ‘to be famous’ is one of their generation’s most important goals in life. Similarly, as part of their professional ambitions, many adults now compete to grow their Twitter base and promote themselves online. Unfortunately, this widespread desire for fame has been accompanied by an increased blurring of the distinction between fame and infamy.” Additionally, and this is very important, Lankford adds that “Given this social context, it is not surprising that some people who cannot get fame legally will commit crimes to get fame instead. This risk is especially high for people with narcissistic tendencies, because they are so desperate for attention, and they lack empathy for those they have to trample upon to reach their goals.” Dr. Scott Bonn referred to such people in a Psychology Today article as “celebrity monsters,” and added that some “serial killers actually seek out public notoriety and actively engage in the creation of their public image.”

Clearly, giving offenders the fame they seek will not shame them. On the contrary, it will make them proud and encourage other offenders to act, and act more boldly than they would have had they not seen the fame that other offenders receive. Instead of fame, we must deal with the problem on a more systemic level. Because our society is growing increasingly narcissistic, and narcissism, as Time magazine correctly observed, is a leading cause of such actions, we must deal with the narcissism in society, if we are to prevent future perpetrators from acting.

To do that, we must foster social solidarity. As Lankford noted, people with narcissistic tendencies, which is most everyone today, are “desperate for attention,” and “lack empathy for those they have to trample upon to reach their goals.”

In a society where there is solidarity, everyone receives the attention they need. The members of such a society feel that they are dependent on each other, and therefore cultivate warm relations. The mutual dependence engenders group awareness, where people cater to the needs of their group no less than they cater to their own needs. As a result, they will be careful not to trample on others since it would pain them as if they harmed themselves.

Once people develop group awareness, it becomes easier for them to absorb the idea that their group depends on other groups just as they are dependent on their own group. That would expand their social awareness and broaden their range of social solidarity beyond their immediate group and into the community, or school, or city. Gradually, the circle of awareness will grow until it encompasses the entire country, and eventually, contingent upon the readiness of other countries, it will encompass the entire world.

Crime doesn’t happen because people feel no shame; it happens because people feel no affinity. Nurture affinity, and you have eliminated crime. This should be our main goal in all our education systems the world over. If we achieve this, we will have a safe present and a happy future. If we do not do this, no shaming, warnings, or technological gadgets to ward off criminals will help.
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Comment: Elon Musk, the founder of SpaceX, Tesla, and now the richest person in the world, announces plans to build an autonomous city on Mars, which can survive independently of the Earth.

He does not intend to abide the Earth’s laws outside of Earth, but instead wants to rely on the principles of self-administration “established on the basis of good will.” By 2050, he wants to send about a million people to Mars and build a city there.

My Response: What for? Even if people live well there, in peace and friendship with each other, they still will be dying, because this is the nature of biological organisms. And then what? So they will live on Mars.

What is the goal? Is it to demonstrate that people in spacesuits can live or bury themselves somewhere underground and live in their own artificial conditions?

Comment: I understand his hope is to build such a city of the future or a country of the future on Mars.

My Response: For this, you need to change people.

Comment: Maybe he thinks that we are going to make a complete mess of the Earth by 2050.

My Response: That’s for sure!

Comment: We will have such wars here…

My Response: This will happen much earlier.

Comment: Everyone will dream of escaping this planet somewhere to somewhere else because they will understand that it is impossible to survive on this planet, that is, when it will be just hell here.

My Response: If there is hell here, then we will build the same hell elsewhere.

Question: So we are not going anywhere from this planet?

Answer: Nowhere. We will have to make the right, good life on this planet. There is no place for us other than Earth. We may with great difficulties reach other planets, but we won’t be able to live there. They are not, according to thousands of parameters, adapted for people. People also will not be able to adapt to them. This is the first thing.

And the second thing is: This is not the mission of man to preserve his animalistic essence. He must rise above it, so that he would be able to fly in his spirit from star to star.

Question: Does it mean that right now I can move to another star?

Answer: Of course.

Question: Can I be on Mars right now?

Answer: You do not need spacesuits, you do not need an atmosphere, you do not need anything. You only need the correct desires, when you do not interfere with any systems, but you can be included in them in such a way that you do not bring any interference into them.

Question: What is interference? My destructive thoughts?

Answer: Of course, they are egoistic.

Question: Is this why this place won’t let me in? Because I have destructive thoughts?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What does it mean that we are so connected to the Earth?

Answer: Such conditions are created here that we can exist in this world, on this planet, in our egoism, which sets us these bodily conditions.

However, this is created artificially so that we could quickly change ourselves and prepare for a state above the earth’s conditions. Then we can move as we please, anywhere.

When we exit the boundaries of egoism, we begin to see a different universe. These planetary and stellar conditions no longer exist there. There are forces there. Matter does not matter at all. We do not see the matter, we just see a field of egoistic and altruistic forces. And it already depends on how much we begin to interact between them.

We then build our universe, the one called spiritual, because it is already built above egoism, on altruism, and we begin to build it ourselves.

Question: What does an ordinary person feel if he is in these forces?

Answer: He feels that he is already living in a system of spiritual, altruistic forces, not egoistic ones. That is, he has a completely different direction of mind, thoughts, feelings, and relationships—toward another, toward one’s neighbor.

Based on this, he already sees completely different states of matter. All this will come.

Why do we want to relocate egoists somewhere to another planet? What are they going to do there? They will make a mess of Mars. All this has neither the possibility nor the right to exist.

Question: Do you think it is better to invest all this money in education, in re-educating people, in correcting them?

Answer: Undoubtedly! This is our goal, it should be our goal—the re-education of humanity and the creation of a completely new, spiritual humanity from it. Humanity the way it is today has no future. We see this more and more clearly from day to day.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/11/21

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