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Posted on January 11th, 2025
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Talks about the Steps of the Ladder, Part 45
Is it Possible that the Preparation Stage of Work Never Ends?
In spirituality, there is no situation where the work remains unfinished. We must complete the work of each degree, otherwise we cannot advance to the next. Success or failure is not the issue—completion is inevitable.
The challenges along the way are not inner flaws, but opportunities to sharpen our inner discernments. When we encounter an obstacle or failure, it is to highlight a specific quality that we need to understand and refine. There is no true failure. Instead, every stumbling block points to something that requires deeper scrutiny.
Also, it is important to note that no evil comes from above. The light that shines from above never brings any harm. It reveals the places within us that require correction. Until these corrections take place, sensations might be unpleasant.
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Comment: In Japan, there was a case where a little girl was growing up in a single-parent family. After she started school, she became withdrawn. It turned out that she was being bullied because her classmates teased her for not having a father.
The mother was deeply concerned. The teachers did not help, so she turned to an agency that provides “rent-a-hero” services. She chose one candidate—a kind, positive, and caring man. As an actor, he fully embraced the role of a father and played it for the girl for ten years.
On weekends, they went to the movies, parks, and walks, talked together, and even attended parent-teacher meetings. Over time, it was clear that the girl, once shy and withdrawn, blossomed and became more confident.
Thus, a new trend emerged: “fathers for rent”—fake fathers who, by taking on the role, provide both children and adults with a sense of security and supportive surroundings.
My Response: We understand how important this is for a child. At the same time, it can also be deeply significant for the woman—the mother of that child.
Interestingly, these relationships can sometimes be deeper and closer than natural family bonds. When something is “yours,” it can often lead to complacency and neglect. Who really pays attention to one another? You come home, kick off your shoes, sit down at the table or in your favorite chair, and life goes on.
But here, the emotional distance fosters a special closeness, one that is not just monitored, but actively nurtured and strengthened. This dynamic can be far more meaningful than relationships in a typical marriage.
As a result, a very interesting relationship can develop between them, not even intimate, but purely internal support, precisely due to the fact that they are not husband and wife, but simply “collaborators” to create a special family relationship.
Comment: The fake father told the girl he loved her, although inside he understood it was a conflict, that it really wasn’t the case. But what he told her emotionally, by getting involved at this state, helped not only their relationship, but also the child’s development.
My Response: Do we have the right to treat a child this way? To lie to them?
Comment: Yes, because the consequences can vary. He said, “Ten years have passed, and I understand what might happen if the truth comes out. Eighty percent of me believes the girl will be grateful for all the care and attention I gave her. Twenty percent of me fears she will feel devastated, lost, and broken.”
My Response: He must stay with her until she gets married and he is “replaced” by her husband. He has to support her until she has another man in her life because, at the moment, he is filling the roles of father, man, and husband—everything. He cannot just leave her.
Comment: There is another trend where elderly men are hired as mentors. They are invited to accompany young people because they can pass on experience and wisdom.
My Response: I support this. It is something our society needs because no one in childhood receives proper guidance from their parents. This is a methodology, a philosophy of acceptance of life and the proper adaptation to it. Modern children do not have this. They have no source for it, not from TV, not from computers, not from school, nor from anywhere.
Question: What institutions should surround a person to help them grow into a well-rounded individual?
Answer: They need a clear and consistent educational program conducted by capable teachers, mentors, and educators.
When family, society, the peer group, and the media all work in harmony, only then can a person be raised properly.
Question: What values should they instill?
Answer: The right behavior within the “human pack.” Ideally, this should be taught at the instinctive level.
Question: What rules should exist in a “human pack”?
Answer: Homo homini lupus est, “man is a wolf to man,” only the other way around.
Teach people to live as a pack where everyone supports each other and understands the importance of each individual. Each person carries a social or family responsibility that makes everyone significant. Wolves, for instance, live exceptionally well within their packs.
Question: Could we conclude by saying, “Be a wolf to be human”?
Answer: Yes, being a wolf is great; you will know how to behave in a pack. It is a wonderful dynamic where there is a clear hierarchy, parents at the top, children below, grandchildren further down, and so on. But everyone takes care of one another, from the bottom up.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/22/18
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Question: You have said that an action has no meaning without the Creator. How can we do every action with the Creator?
Answer: An action without the Creator generally is not considered a reasonable action because instinctively you always relate to Him. The only question is whether it is conscious on your part or not.
A newborn also instinctively feels his mother and his attitude to her. However, he perceives her in such a way that she must supply him with everything he needs in life, and he demands it from her.
Such is our state in relation to the Creator. This is a small state characterized by the fact that we feel that everything depends on Him, we are tied to Him, He is everything for us, and we will be unable to exist without Him!
Do you see how critical we should feel this state within us? This is our life! I receive everything through the small tube of connection between Him and me, but without it there is nothing. This is the beginning of the small state; practically, it is conception, an embryo.
Then these states become more conscious. I understand that I do not simply fully depend on Him, but I can selectively request and receive depending on my attitude toward Him.
Therefore, I analyze my demands and somehow direct them in a special way to the Creator. In accordance with this, I try to receive from Him sequential actions upon me. This is when letters, words, and sentences appear, meaning sequential signals from me to Him and from Him to me. These sensations are the beginning of the spiritual work.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/5/19, Preparation for convention in Moldova “Turning to the Creator”
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The Torah, derived from the word “Or” (Light), is a method of correction. It is written: “Better they abandoned Me but kept My Torah” ( Jerusalem Talmud, Chagigah 1.7). That means stop praying and asking as the entire world does for egoistic benefit and instead try to request a directed influence from Me so that I may draw you closer to Myself and make you participants in My actions.
That is what the Creator desires from us. To achieve this, we must change ourselves, become similar to Him, and then we will participate in His actions. Not merely participate but actually carry them out as His proxies and instruments. To the extent that our desires align with His, we will perform this work.
At this stage, our work will be called “the work of the Creator.” We will not merely recognize that everything is done by the Creator; we will begin to adopt His actions and perform them. It is not that we will become independent in this state, but we will appear to be so.
This feeling of autonomy is marvelous; it elevates us to a state where the Creator gradually, step by step, entrusts us with the governance of all creation. We will, as it were, govern it in His stead. That is the state of “receiving for the sake of bestowal.”
I believe these states are more or less clear to us theoretically, but practically they can only be realized in a group. This is why the convention is so essential to us. Learning at home and listening to these teachings is not the issue; the challenge lies in attempting to integrate with others and come under their influence despite our egoism.
When I come to a convention, my focus is on whether I can absorb, like a sponge, everything that others possess. That is precisely what I want, not egoistically, but to absorb everything so that I can become like them and reflect back everything I have received. These two actions are what we must strive to perform.
To achieve this, we need to open ourselves. Everything else should be set aside for the duration of the convention. I must include within myself everything that the convention can influence me with, include everyone within me, and strive to fully absorb their aspirations, desires, and everything else.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/5/19, Preparation for convention in Moldova “Turning to the Creator”
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Question: What is bestowal?
Answer: Bestowal is the sequence of actions where you first completely nullify your own desires and opinions, immerse yourself in the desires of another person, and then apply all your abilities to fulfill or satisfy their desires.
For example, suppose you want to buy a new iPhone, but your mother does not understand why you would spend so much money on another “toy.” You start explaining to her how amazing this phone is, listing all its features: Internet, video, and photos.
Essentially, you are trying to get her to connect with your desires, to feel what you feel, and to admire this new “toy.”
You want her to share your desire for this new phone so much that she becomes “lit up” by it and wishes to gift it to her beloved son. This is called “love for one’s neighbor.”
Similarly, I must feel the desire of the friend and feel obligated to fulfill it with all my abilities, even before fulfilling my own desires. It is as if my personal desires no longer exist within me!
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/24/11, Writings of Baal HaSulam “Introduction to the Book Panim Meirot uMasbirot“
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