Comment: There must have been dead ends in your life when you probably wanted to give up on everything.

My Response: If I have achieved anything in life, do you think I did not go through what you still have to experience? Do you really think that any stages were cancelled for me due to some kind of patronage that allowed me to bypass them? There is no such thing in spirituality. It exists only in our world, only in animal states.

Question: How critical was your condition? Did you feel terrible despair?

Answer: Yes, especially in Tiberias where we went with my teacher Rabash and stayed there together. I felt he was ready to give everything, and I could not take anything.

I understood that everything depended on me: I had to spread myself and desire spirituality like nothing else in the world. I used to sit on the balcony of our house at night, smoke two packs of cigarettes, and I couldn’t do anything. Nothing! I understood my absolutely hopeless state.

But what could I do? After all, it was hopeless; that is how this state revealed itself to me. But there must be a way out! There is a way out for every soul. What is the solution for me now?

Question: Did Rabash know about this?

Answer: Of course he knew. It could not be that he did not feel.

A person must go through these states! The teacher cannot do anything. You have to go through them, and he is waiting for you to go through them. That is all, just like the Creator is waiting for this.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. To Leave Kabbalah” 1/29/10

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