Answer: First, different critical thoughts arise from within each person. This is natural because our egoism is constantly working, constantly growing, and constantly arousing a critical attitude in us toward the world, except for those who are truly close to us.
Relationships in a group require constant spiritual elevation; therefore, our egoism works at full capacity there. It is not surprising that egoism is constantly aroused in each of us. Let it get excited, as it should be. This is a sign of growth, but it is about what we do with it.
I must constantly tune my egoism to the opposite; that is, I must work in such a way so that without destroying it and above it, I can build the property of bestowal and love in relation to my friends in the group. I must show them the same thing and set an example to everyone. And they should act in the same way regarding me and everyone else.
As a matter of fact, it is a game above our egoism and contrary to it. From this game, we gradually arouse the surrounding light, which in this case affects us, raises us, and actually creates a common property of bestowal in us in which we will then feel the Creator—the upper, governing force of the world.
If instead of this, I tell my friends about the critical attitude that I see in others—not about that I should demonstrate love and affection for them, but about my neglect, that is, my reason from my own egoism—then by doing this I simply spread a harmful infection between group members. This is absolutely unacceptable! This is the worst thing that kills our spiritual advancement.
Among men this is not such a terrible thing because they initially do not have such a movement from within as women do. And if they want to be with us in a group, in motion, it must be uprooted, weeded, and nipped in the bud. That is why I am so harsh about gossip and speaking critically. There should be no place for this among us.
You can be critical of someone who did something wrong in dissemination, professionally speaking, but not of the relations between us. In no case can you criticize a friend.
In addition, you do not even understand that you are talking about yourself and not about others; that is, you are reasoning from your ego.
Speaking critically is the most terrible thing that can be in a Kabbalistic group, and we must fight against it with all our might because it is a poison that kills any of our advancement. That is why I am so intolerant of criticism from friends, and if such things happen, we must actively fight against them. And if someone is not able, then these people should simply be removed from the group.
I should not speak out about the fact that I do not like some character traits of a friend. This should never happen. I have to rise above this.
Just like in my beloved child, I practically do not see any negative qualities, and even if I see them, they overlap with love. I still love him and I do not tell anyone what is bad in him. This is a clear example of how we should treat all of our friends like my beloved little child. We should treat them like that.
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Beware of Gossip!” 3/19/13