Question: Who is a real man? Some psychologists claim that a real man is a man who has realized himself, who has a cause with a capital “C”, a family, a woman, he is responsible for somebody. There are ten indications of a real man to point out. First: He relies only on himself.
Answer: This is an unfortunate man. How can he count on himself? Only if he trudges along the prairie with his cattle and that is it. Today, how can he rely on himself? Who is he to rely only on himself? He must count on a huge number of people who can help him, support him, and so on. This is a real man—the one surrounded by a lot of friends.
Remark: The next indication: He is self-sufficient.
My Comment: What does it mean he is self-sufficient? “I need nothing. What I have is what I need. I am smart enough, successful enough, confident enough.” Well, what is it? You can tell such a thing only to a child who will be inspired in this way.
Remark: Sometimes you really want to be confident in yourself.
My Comment: You should not be. This is where all growth ends.
Remark: The next indication: He is independent.
My Comment: This also cannot be. How can a person does not depend on anything? He depends on nature, on people surrounding him; he depends on everyone! In our time, independence does not exist for a person, for society, for a state, or in general for the entire planet.
Question: Does he depend on everyone and on everything around him?
Answer: Of course. The more he grows, the more dependent he is on everyone.
Remark: He does not ask for help.
My Comment: So, what? Does he rely on himself?
Remark: From all of the above, he relies on himself, and he does not ask for help. He is like that: “I will not ask for help. I will do it myself.”
My Comment: He is dumb. He does not even understand with his brains that he really depends on everyone and everything.
Question: Do you think a real man is the one who can ask for help, who can have such a weakness?
Answer: Who understands that he is weak.
Question: This radically changes everything. Does he realize that he is weak and asks for help?
Remark: Another indication: He does not compromise.
My Comment: Then he will be killed or he will be a killer. It is impossible not to compromise. It is through compromises that we come to the right conclusions. Right decisions are somewhere in the middle.
We cannot live without compromises! No one can! Especially business people, politicians, etc. A person should understand that nature consists of plus and minus. Everything lives on compromise.
Remark: The next indication: He does not compare. For example, he does not compare himself to others.
My Comment: But how will he grow if he does not envy, if he does not compare? I have to compare and be envious, I have to see that this is not in my favor, and that will spur me on to growth.
Question: Do you mean to envy not in order to lower another person but to rise above him?
Answer: It depends on the previous points.
Question: Yes. Are comparisons necessary?
Remark: The next one: He accepts himself as he is.
My Comment: Only a mother can accept a baby as it is. Nobody will accept me as I am. I will be humiliated, pushed away all the time, and so on. I, too, must see myself as I am, what I should be, and try to grow in this way all the time.
Question: Is it not that I do not accept myself as I am, but that I must grow all the time. So, if I am who I am, do I stop?
Answer: Of course. Everything develops dialectically.
Remark: Next point: He avoided the midlife crisis or survived it with the least loss.
My Comment: I do not know what the midlife age has to do with it. I do not feel it and have never felt it.
Remark: It is because you found the purpose of life when you were thirty three years old.
My Comment: In my opinion, it continues with me. What does a midlife crisis mean? What should be in this crisis? That I think about what has passed and what else will be, where I am, and what I should do with my life?
Remark: I think that the search for the meaning of life also suits here. It says: “survived it with the least loss.”
My Comment: Agree with what I have and sail on.
Remark: It looks like it.
My Comment:: No, that is not me.
Question: Does this crisis need to exist all the time?
Answer: Yes. A midlife crisis, if we call it this way, is a necessary account of what has been done and what has not yet been done, and that there is still a lot of work ahead. I have to believe that when I do all this, then I will reach middle age.
Question: Is the fact that I, for example, have found a place in life and calmed down, awful, in your opinion?
Answer: This is death.
In general, we have not coped with these ten commandments.
Remark: Yes, we have failed. We do not agree, we have it all in the opposite way: complete dependence, constant insecurity, an endless road; you never stop, you never rest.
My Comment: Open your eyes and see. Without any literary tricks. You will see that it is all opposite to what is written.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/21/20