Question: In Kabbalah it is written that one cannot discuss the spiritual states of the friends in the group, only their external actions. Why?
Answer: We never “fit” into each other and do not try to discuss the intentions or heights of revealing the upper world of each of the friends. We do not deal with this, and we do not even have the right to get into it.
Question: That is, I cannot say to my friend: “You are in some descent today?”
Answer: No, you can only somehow support your friend.
Question: If I see some external actions of a friend, can I discuss or criticize them?
Answer: We can discuss the external actions of our friends with the aim of generally acting correctly on them and on the group. But we should do it very carefully, based on love of friends.
Remark: One of the Kabbalistic principles is to disallow frivolity in the group in relation to the importance of the goal.
Answer: This is very important. There should be no arbitrary existence in the group that allows frivolity. We must exist only in order to engage in the attainment of the Creator as prescribed by the science of Kabbalah. No other goals or actions should be acceptable within the group.
Our goal is to reveal the Creator, or more precisely His quality of bestowal, which is so contrary to the whole of society that if we somehow cultivate its importance and suddenly someone brings doubts into the group, it can be very damaging.
Therefore, it is forbidden to talk about individual states a person reveals on the spiritual path so as not to interfere with other people. I do not talk about these states with a friend, but remind the friend about our lofty goal in general phrases.
Question: But how could this harm him?
Answer: By this we introduce errors into one another.
Question: If I talk about some exalted spiritual states?
Answer: You can talk about them. It is best to take examples from a book. But you should not talk about your states, ever. A friend is not yet corrected; he or she would become jealous, and it will harm you.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 3/6/19