People are unable to control their egoism and exist in love for their neighbor. When people who are soft, good, and kind in everyday life feel the desire to achieve love for their neighbor, they suddenly uncover such huge, inner, egoistic layers that they begin hating each other.
It is like how young people in love, in the beginning, live like a couple of doves. And what happens later? Scandals, assaults, difficult divorces, and lawyers.
If they did not try to get close to each other, they could remain good friends and lovers, meet from time to time, and please each other, but without any obligations. This is the most important thing. After all, love for your neighbor obliges you; you are obliged to love him and overcome your egoism all the time. Therefore, today there are so many unhappy marriages.
Question: How can we avoid this?
Answer: A person must rise above himself! But is he capable of doing this? Can his environment give him the required support? If not, it is better to walk away.
Suppose—if I am already married—then I can do nothing; I live next to this person involuntarily. I do not have an opportunity to regulate the distance between us according to my ability to control myself and rise above my egoism. If I could do this, everything would be fine. If we are a little tired of each other, we move away from each other and later we move closer and so on. This is a big problem.
This is exactly the kind of rejection we try to overcome in a Kabbalistic group. We constantly work on this, for many hours a day, without walking away or separating.
Is it possible to oblige a young couple who does not understand anything about the inner work to do this? It is necessary to study Kabbalah for this, to discuss it constantly, and to implement it practically. Where do you see such a family and such an opportunity?
Can you imagine, in what state people were, 2,000 years ago when they had to implement all of this amongst themselves? Therefore, it is not surprising that their spiritual unity, called the First and the Second Temples, fell apart.
Comment: Today, we have reached such a state that all marriages are falling apart. However, previously we somehow kept this circle.
My Response: This is because, previously, religion was holding people. Today, religion has changed its form so much that only an outer shell remains of it. Although it still holds them but with its last bit of strength, it takes new forms all the time.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 12/21/16