Question: I don’t know who or what the Creator is, even though I have been listening to you for five years. During this time, I have understood my nature and I don’t find it appealing. I cannot change my nature independently, the group will not accept my ego, and my ego cannot accept the group. What can I do?
You have good characteristics and foundations, I immediately feel a person who asks a question. It is just necessary to be serious and persistent. Five years is not enough time, it is basically a first acquaintance.
But the next five years will be more meaningful, when we begin to “stand on each other’s values.” Five years later, we begin to make contact, we disclose each other somewhat. In another five years, we truly begin to discover the Creator through our integration. Basically our entire lives are intended just for this.
When I began to study with Rabash, he told me that when his father Baal HaSulam was a young man, he once came to his teacher in Pursov, near Warsaw. While waiting for his teacher, he took a book from the shelf, opened it, and was amazed by what was written there! This book was apparently Etz haChaim by the Ari, which talks only about the wisdom of Kabbalah, and he so much wanted to know it.
His teacher came in and said: “What did you take?! Put it back in its place right away!” He put the book on the shelf, but already knew what it was talking about. So he immediately went to a bookstore and bought it, he sensed from the start that now he was already “on the horse”! But at that time he didn’t know that in order to understand what is said in the book would take him 20 years! And this was for such a great soul as Baal HaSulam!
I still wonder how Rabash could tell me something like this without being worried that I would be disappointed. And I really wasn’t disappointed.
We just need to understand that life is given to us so that we can reach the upper world. And after that, everything goes on according to this contact.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 5/8/16