Question: There is a negative relationship between my grown son and I. What should I do if I want to make contact with him and he doesn’t understand me? How can I help my son and myself through the wisdom of Kabbalah?
Answer: This is a problem! Your son doesn’t want to be in contact with you because he feels that you suppress him, while you feel that you need to take care of him, and he should accept your care and care for you in return.
However, the relationship between a mother and a child should be such that a mother won’t give a child reason to think that she limits him.
The young generation needs its freedom from the previous generation. They need the parents to provide them with all the necessities and move aside.
My teacher Rabash used to say, “All that our children need from us is to close our mouth and open our pocket.”
This is what they require. Do you want to have a good relationship with them? Then close your mouth and open your pocket.
Of course, this is somewhat exaggerated, but I advise you to keep him in your thoughts (because they influence your son) and show him that you require nothing from him: no changes in his life at all. You want, if possible, just to add somewhere, anywhere he wishes.
This is what we learn from the upper providence that treats the lower system this way.
Every upper Sefira only does what is necessary for the lower in order for it to fulfill itself, to grow, and to attain. It doesn’t think about itself in any way.
This is exactly how the Creator treats us: we don’t owe Him anything and only He owes us.
Comment: It is said that we are obliged to keep the commandments…
Answer: You do that in order to correct yourself and not for the Creator! The Creator is perfect. You can’t give Him anything and you don’t give Him anything. Absolutely nothing! After all, if we speak about a perfect attribute, then it won’t gain or lose anything no matter how you conduct yourself. Everything is done only for your own good and nothing more.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 5/1/16