Comment: For every person who engages in Kabbalah for a long time, at some point comes a period when he demands internal egoistic fulfillment: “Give me at least something!” as in the “golden calf” transgression.
Answer: A person must have some goals and some achievements. However, suddenly he feels himself suspended in the air, feels some kind of tiredness. This is natural. Kabbalah writes about it. It is necessary to overcome such states.
Those who can’t endure them and walk away are just weak. It is necessary to be stubborn, to cling with your teeth and hold on. It means that you close your eyes and are ready to be below the level of life and death. Just hide, so that this devastation, anything at all, will pass over you.
You have to get used to it, to agree in advance with everything that will happen: to be “rinsed” in a view of the entire world, to be given such desires, doubts, and states by the Creator that such things were possible wouldn’t even come to the mind of a common person. And you must take it all in stride.
Moreover, a person’s mind is taken away; he is given strange thoughts, strange feelings and turns into a puppet that performs some actions. Later his mind is returned to him and he looks at what he has done. He is played upon this way in order to knock the egoism out of him. This is the main, and probably the only task of the Creator: to put us in such conditions that we would voluntarily give up our egoism and would ask the Creator ourselves: “Take this monster away from us!”
However, if a person comes to classes and everything in his life is quiet and well: home, family, work, friends, meals, congresses, and teaching, so what is there to change? Then nothing will change. Nothing! He will only demand more and more. His egoism will point to what else he wants to receive, and why not?
Therefore the real spiritual work begins when a person is humiliated in such a way that he wants to get rid of egoism. However, it is not about getting rid of egoism, since it means he just wants to suffer less. The fact is that he must stay with his egoism and say, “I am ready for anything, I just want to hold onto the Creator. Let Him do whatever He wants with me, as long as I have a point of connection with Him.”
One point, no more! To ask for more means you already anticipate a reward. “I don’t want any reward, just to have a point of connection with You, and I don’t need anything more. Do whatever you want with everything else, with me, my body, my mind, and with anything else.”
Comment: But when a person studies, teaches, works with the friends, and participates in the meals, he one way or another still moves along the right line to stronger connection with the Creator…
Answer: He moves until the time to move to the next degree comes. But it depends on how much effort he has invested.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 5/11/16