Answer: We need to discover that we are nothing by ourselves, zeroes that are managed by the Light one hundred percent. The Light influences the desire, the desire awakens and is attracted to the Light. This is what happens in us egoistically.
But we need to change the direction so that the Light will not influence the desire so that the desire will not ignite and will not pursue the Light. I want to build a barrier (Machsom) between them, to make a restriction on my desire so that it will not be exposed to the direct influence of the Light so that it will not obligate me to run after the Light like a beast.
I don’t want to be a corrupt servant. I don’t agree to be in submission, enslaved by the Light without my own examination and decision, doing everything that it would command me. It’s as if I look at my desire and the Light from the side and see how they communicate. And I don’t do anything at all, I have no right to speak and decide.
Before the Light influences the desire, I am not ready to do or to see anything. This is called psychology because I learn how my body and desires are aroused by the influence of pleasure, which is the Light.
If I don’t want to be in a state like this, it means that I feel the slavery. I acquire a kind of independent point of examination, the position of a judge, an investigator, and I see that I don’t exist in this picture at all. The Creator gave me a point in the heart, and from this, I can follow my heart, my desires, my characteristics; I can see how much I am managed from above. The Light can influence me in whatever way it wants, and I will do it all.
There is a period of recognition of evil where I see, understand, and would like to resist this influence, to become a barrier to the Light, a mechanism that reflects and sends the Light back and doesn’t let it pass to the desire. I don’t want my desire to be ignited by the Light all the time. I want to be the master of the right to speak, the independence that my point in the heart demands. Yet I see that I am not ready to do it.
These are the stages of the recognition of evil, 400 years of exile. Exile means being enslaved by our ego, which is called Pharaoh, Haman.
If I reach a state where I don’t agree with the Light influencing my desire, then I give birth to a prayer. The prayer must be in the right direction and have enough intensity. It must be according to such a form, conditions, and degree that results only from my connection with the environment.
I see from my point in the heart that I am not able to be the adapter between the Light and desire and to decide anything. So I go to a group because I want to strengthen the point in the heart.
I am united with the group, wishing to increase the point in the heart, to get more forces to allow it to stand as a screen between the Light and the desire for pleasure. But I see that I am not able to do this in a group and I don’t want to connect with them.
From this it follows that I don’t have the ability to protect my desire from the influence of the Light and I am given over to the absolute dominion of the Light and pleasure like an animal that is under the control of the egoistic desire. From the side of the desire to bestow, I want to enter into a group, but I am not able to; there are two such lines.
The feeling of exile is built with two components. On the one hand, the Egyptians have control over me, meaning that I completely depend on the influence of the Light on the desire. And on the other hand, I am not able to connect with my people, to be integrated in a group. It all comes to this; the children of Israel are separated in Egypt and cannot unite as one. The Egyptians, who are the general desire for pleasure, have control over them. Ultimately this desire becomes unbearable without a glimmer of hope. Only a miracle can save us!
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/6/14, Writings of Rabash