So, when a person in whom the point in the heart has awakened reaches a group and begins to work in it, he discovers that he cannot accept this kind of work at all. Then, the right desire is evoked in him which means the desire that demands correction.
The simple desire to enjoy in this world is not called an ego since it is defined by our corporeal nature. However, when a person feels to what extent he cannot accept the connection, it is actually a revelation of the ego that he must correct and turn into a connection with others. After all, it is by the right connection with the friends that a person reaches the right connection with the Creator.
When he begins to connect to others, he suddenly feels an inner resistance. The ego is evoked along with different accounts and he feels repulsion and even resentment with regard to the connection. Yet, he doesn’t understand why this happens suddenly.
He doesn’t accept this and wants to be like the others. Sometimes, he forgets and simply concedes to the domination of the negative feelings and the repulsion that he feels, and hates the others so much that he can escape and leave the study, and then come back to it.
The rejection of the connection is an expression of the egoistic desire that grows in a person and is called mother, the upper level. A person must connect with the friends above this resistance and spur the others by emphasizing the greatness of the Creator, the teacher, the study, the group, and dissemination. These are the means that can help a person hold on to the spiritual work.
If he doesn’t want to be worse than the others, he discovers that he cannot do it, and so, after a long struggle, he admits that he cannot change without the help of the Creator. He reaches this conclusion as a result of the efforts he has made. Every detail requires great efforts and so it says that a person must do whatever is in his power.
Then, a person realizes that the repulsion that he feels after all the great efforts to connect with others is an expression of his evil inclination and that he must turn to the Creator in order to correct it. The entire game is arranged so that he will need the Creator’s help.
Then, he looks for the opportunity to ask the Creator for help and finds out that there is no connection between them, that he keeps forgetting about it, and, in fact, doesn’t need it at all. He doesn’t have a strong enough desire for this request to erupt in him yet. He must bestow upon his environment so that it will evoke the need to turn to the Creator.
Thus, he gradually creates a form within a form and establishes the right attitude toward the group, the study, the teacher, and the Creator so that all these components will support one another, and the Surrounding Light already creates in him the right appeal that can spur the Creator and force Him to give a person his first spiritual form.
This form is called a spiritual embryo or the son with regard to the mother. A person begins to feel that he has undergone a change and that his desire to receive has turned into a desire to bestow, a spiritual desire.
What is the essence of this change? The desire to enjoy remains the same desire, but the intention changes from an intention of in order to receive to an intention of in order to bestow. Suddenly, something happens in a person, and he has no worries but caring about the Creator. The Creator becomes more important to him than anything else, and he begins to think only about His sake.
This is a person’s goal in this life, what he must attain during his short stay in this world. This world is created so that with the help of every individual in it, the connection of a person with the Creator will be renewed and completed. By collecting all the connections, the points and the means to contact the Creator, a person raises his spiritual embryo until he is mature enough and is born in the spiritual world.
After the birth, he continues to collect the contacts that he attains with the Creator, which accumulate to seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, and years of his spiritual life. Thus, he grows from a boy to a youth to an adult until he completes the creation of his whole spiritual Partzuf. A person must manage to complete this work during his lifetime in this world. This means that he constantly establishes his form and the form of the Creator as his mother so that the Creator’s form will be imprinted in him
In fact, there is only one form: the form of the Creator and the form of a person adhered to one another. There is no individual form for each of them. It appears only as a result of the connection between them.
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/18/14