Question: How can one not fall for the pride of the friend to whom I nullify myself? And, how do I myself need to relate to this when they praise me so that the praise doesn’t stop spiritual work?
Answer: It is truly possible to destroy a person through praise. For the most part, I relate to my students with a little mockingly, a little derision, and sometimes rudeness. Sometimes, I push some individuals away, holding them at somewhat of a distance, not allowing myself to get close to them, and they to me. There are people who also behave this way toward me or toward other friends.
The entire idea is in the intention: why we do it.
If, in this way, friends begin to be arrogant, then you must solve this problem among you by discussing it in the workshop circles. I very much recommend behaving specifically this way. Everything that accumulates in you that you cannot resolve personally must be introduced in workshops.
You arrange an anonymous discussion there without relating to a specific friend, but you pose the question in such a form that the problem will be clear to everyone. If, after that, the behavior of the friend doesn’t change, return to this in a workshop in another few weeks, and gradually the person will understand what is happening to him.
I don’t see another way to influence a person and explain to him what is impossible to explain directly. We don’t have the right to do this, except through the workshop. This is an amazing opportunity that is given to us in a group. This is why we exist in this world where while we are still in an egoistic state, “for my own sake,” we can negotiate some altruistic interaction, and in such a manner, go forward.
From the Moscow Virtual Convention “Unity Without Boundaries” Day One – 12/13/13, Lesson 1