The vessels of bestowal are also the desire to receive, but it doesn’t receive yet in order to bestow. Suppose I am a guest sitting in front of the Host. When I see how nicely He treats me in the upper layer of the desire too, I am ready to treat Him the same way. His bestowal that is focused on me brings me to the correct response.
At the same time I am under His domination. He is so wonderful, good, and benevolent that this bestowal alone already corrects me and I am ready to bestow upon Him in response.
Thus I respond to the Light in the vessels of GE that are focused on bestowal in order to bestow. They also have a certain Aviut (thickness) but generally speaking I don’t object to the Host. When I absorb His love for me, I cannot harm Him in my desire to receive anymore. It’s hard to understand this since we would be ready to harm Him in a similar situation, because if He loves me, this love makes Him vulnerable and so I can annoy Him.
But we are speaking about the level of truth here: If I see that a person helps me from the bottom of his heart—even though it’s not easy and requires great effort—I establish the same attitude towards him in me. I don’t work in order to bestow like he does yet, but at least I “Don’t do unto your friend what is hated by you.”
Thus, although it’s only the upper layers of Aviut, I work with all its vessels, desires, engaging them just enough not to use their thicker Aviut. I use it only on the condition that I feel His attitude towards me as great love. In the meantime, I can respond only by belonging to Him and not more than that.
It’s about the animate level. I am like a dog at the feet of his master. I work with all my desires, but only in order to adhere to Him. I am inferior to Him.
This isn’t easy. Thanks to this, He can do what He wants with me. Here dedication, devotion, and a level of faith, bestowal, are required, but not more. I annul myself, “Use me as You wish, I am a tool in Your hands.”
But I still cannot operate myself on the human level; it is against my nature to be like Him. This is the next level that AHP connects to, to receive in order to bestow, not only the redemption from the desire but also in it.
In the meantime, however, I annul myself, and it’s this state which symbolizes Chanukah. I follow the Creator despite everything. It’s clear that I am fighting a war, I am killing my enemies, but only those who reject spirituality; “Live,” they say, “Don’t belong to the Light, don’t connect to bestowal.”
Question: I don’t understand what this has to do with the spiritual work.
Answer: Try to focus yourself so that you will not feel hatred towards anyone and so that you will not want to succeed at the expense of anyone. You will agree that everyone should feel good. Even if you don’t contribute anything, you aren’t disturbing. Try to reach this attitude above your desire to receive.
Imagine that we find a treasure worth billions of dollars. Now let’s split it evenly among everyone, including the two of us. Perhaps you agree now, but what if it’s already in your bank account? Believe me that it will hurt to relinquish every penny, this is our nature. So it isn’t easy to reach the level of to bestow in order to bestow. It takes forty years in the desert and eventually the miracle that is accumulated in small portions, time after time, happens.
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/2/13, Writings of Rabash