Question: We feel great intensity during the lessons, we yearn for connection and for internality but later everything somehow disappears. At about 11 a.m. there is nothing left. Where is the center of the group? What should I do? How should I keep the urge?
Answer: First, everything that I give you during the lesson isn’t lost but actually remains in each of you. There is no absence in spirituality. Even if a person doesn’t hear, doesn’t understand, and doesn’t perceive the words, even if he lives in another country, even if he doesn’t know and doesn’t understand the language, nothing is lost. The impression that the feeling of the lesson disappears and fades away is only so that a person should renew it on his part as much as he can. In any case, everything remains as long as I can give you lessons.
During the lessons you are under my influence. A person who wants it is given freewill with time and then his efforts become more qualitative. But one way or the other, this influence is a kind of infusion or transfusion that each one receives. You have to try to make something out of it.
If you are like a corpse there is no point giving you infusion. No, you have to show that you have grown by the daily injection every day; that you have advanced in the right direction towards the center of the group, towards connection between you, towards the demand to reveal the Creator, which is the mutual force of bestowal between you.
It is true that the impression you experience during the lesson disappears, but do you come to the lesson every day only to be impressed and not to work?
You mustn’t get used to it. You mustn’t turn the lesson into a standard ritual. On the contrary, you should sum up things at the end of each day: What have I done? What have I attained?
As for my presence during the morning lesson, it is not my doing. I may be making great efforts together with the teacher and the friends, but this is already a different matter. But if I hear the lesson passively and there is nothing left of the impression it leaves on me by 11 a.m., then it means that I have wasted five hours after the lesson and haven’t done anything with my impression. This isn’t a good thing.
I have to make an agreement with a couple of friends: “Guys, let’s stop this bad habit, let’s really do what Kabbalists tell us. After all, they only want what is good for us; after all, they are our forefathers. We cannot; we don’t want to; we are against it; it is all true, but it says that if we arrange and establish a different system of mutual relations between us called a group, we will be able to exert ourselves in it. We will at least be able to take a small step forward by ourselves.
So agree on that with the friends. It is simply a must.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/6/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam