We must learn from nature in everything because nature resembles the Creator. Perhaps I bring too many examples from nature: from infancy, childhood, and the period of embryonic development. Yet the revelation of the Creator is expressed in our world in this form. And only if we rise from this physical form to the spiritual form will we attain everything.
Confidence must be solely and only by our dependence on what is higher—only the Light—and all clarifications are through it. Meanwhile we only nullify ourselves in its presence. After we attain more advanced states, our desire to receive will grow to the next level, then we can become more actively nullified before what is higher through practical actions. I mean, I myself carry out actions similar to what is higher.
Yet first of all I need to grow. The embryo doesn’t know what actions its mother is carrying out. And the infant doesn’t understand at first what that which is higher is doing with him. He doesn’t feel where he is. After that, gradually he begins to absorb what is happening, he reacts, smiles at his mother in response. These are levels in the discovery of what is higher by what is lower.
When we were in the “embryonic” state, the embryo doesn’t yet feel this in and only needs to be nullified in relation to what is higher. With this we provide ourselves with a level of confidence.
Confidence, like all phenomena in our world that are felt due to a desire for pleasure, is aroused through the Light, through illumination from above. But if I depend upon what is higher, there cannot be any insecurity in me; on the contrary, I am sure that I am found within Him. And if I am not found in it but near it, then this is an even higher level of confidence, since I am sure that I am already prepared to go out from Him and become like Him.
From this we need to understand, that all of our work is carried out in conditions of darkness and detachment from that which is higher. And the more we advance, the more we feel detachment from the upper, so that we will attract illumination from it ourselves, which is called “confidence.”
The more a person advances with the descents that the Creator sends to him, the more he will feel himself detached from the upper, more empty, foolish, dependent, lacking understanding and feeling, becoming more like a “beast.” And suddenly all the previous knowledge and feeling that he had before disappears. In moments like these, a person feels terrible, yet we must understand that specifically states like these are most useful for acquiring “faith.” In them, we are completely cut off from the upper, are on the level of the “beast,” and therefore we require the Light of “faith”— like every life form in our world, like an infant who wants to cling to his mother. Otherwise, he will feel lost and will not know how to live and what to do with himself.
Indeed, when we later rise from a state like this, the Light gives us a bit of confidence and a little understanding of what needs to be done. And then it’s up to us to pass from the level of the animate to the level of the “speaking.” We no longer want such a degree of confidence like an infant, lacking understanding, or like an animal completely dependent on its owner. We want the Light of confidence so that we will give ourselves over to the higher power, so that we will be attracted to it, so that we will depend on it, not out of our weakness but the opposite. Even though I have the power of confidence and understanding, in everything I still nullify myself absolutely in relation to the Creator!
I require confidence not so as to feel sure and good with my desire for pleasure; rather the opposite, I want to feel more insecurity and dependence on the Creator. This is so that I will cling to Him more and more. Not in order to gain peace of mind, rather to show Him how much I value His position, His height, renouncing all egoistic fulfillments.
I renounce these pleasures and only want to cling to what is higher with all my heart and soul. I want my confidence to become clothing for the Upper Light, and not use it in the name of my personal pleasure. It is in this form that we grow to even higher levels in the spiritual worlds.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/09/13, Shamati #72 “Confidence Is the Clothing for the Light”